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 Hey! Dumbo! Pick a Lane!
* Dr. Len Kleinrock, a UCLA computer science professor,
who wrote a paper in 1961 describing the internet, recently
celebrated the 30th anniversary of the first transmission
between two computers using what is now internet technology. Al Gore was not in attendance.
* Last week was Education Week in American politics. Gore’s folks thought they would create a
great photo op by having Gore kneel down and point to the brick wall of a school which he said
needed repair. Here’s an idea for one of those ads on the sides of busses: A picture of Gore
wearing a hard hat, holding a trowel (in the Grant Wood manner), with the line: “Al Gore. He
invented … bricks.”
* Continuing the theme, the Community Improvement President, Bill Clinton, used a cordless
screw driver to help put some desks together at an elementary school in Virginia. “Now that I’m a
homeowner I’ll have to get one of these,” he said. “I’ve never seen one of these before.” Now,
before we question the veracity of that statement, remember it might well depend upon what the
definition of “driver” is.
* Bill and Hillary have found a little one-point-something-million-dollar cottage in Westchester
County for Hillary to live in after they finish their current gig in Washington. The mortgage is
secured by a one-point-something-million-dollar cash deposit by Democratic fundraiser Terry
McAuliffe. A representative of the White House office of ethics said, apparently with a straight
face, there was nothing wrong with this deal.
* In one of those internet-only juxtapositions, the web page which contained the AP story dealing
with Clinton at the school, had a banner ad for a mortgage company above it which read: “If you
have a 3% down payment, you can afford the HOUSE of YOUR DREAMS.” The name of the
mortgage company was not terrymcauliffe-dot-com.
* Three weeks ago Bill Rodham Clinton offered executive clemency to a bunch of Puerto Rican
terrorists, a move which he obviously thought would help Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham’s
campaign for Senate.
* Having listened to the furor the scam created, The First Homeowner now claims she never
thought it was a good idea, she hated the idea from the very beginning, she had known nothing
about the idea until it was announced, if she had known about the idea – which she didn’t – she
would have told one-and-all how horrible the idea was. Translation? Her polling has indicated the
clemency hasn’t had any effect on the Puerto Rican vote.
* President Clinton gave a vote of confidence to Attorney General Janet Reno who was Attorney
General throughout the siege at Waco but refused to do the same for FBI director Louis Freeh
who was not FBI director at the time.
* Gabe Kaplan should open the House when it returns tomorrow. John Sebastian could sing the
opening prayer.
* Why not get some of those smart mice we’ve been reading about? From Reuters. Dateline
Thailand: Elephants brought into Bangkok's city limits will get microchip implants so authorities
can track their movements to prevent them re-entering and further cluttering the capital's already
congested streets.
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