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 Klaatu, Barada Nikto
* The debate over the Brooklyn Museum of Art (tell the truth,
had it ever occurred to you that Brooklyn HAD a museum of
art before this?) has boosted Rudy Giuliani in his race
against Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham for US Senator from New York. According to a Quinnipiac
College poll (tell the truth, did it ever occurred to you that Quinnipiac HAD a college before this?)
as reported in The Hotline, Rudy leads Hillary by three points 46-43. But that’s not the problem for
The Hill – Giuliani leads by 31 points among suburban voters and by 12 points among
independents.
* At a meeting of GOP consultants in Easton, Maryland last weekend, Joe Gaylord suggested the
difference in the 2000 campaign for President might well be the emergence of “Bush Democrats”
(supplanting the “Reagan Democrats” of two decades ago) the overwhelming majority of whom will
be Hispanic.
* So, MCI/WorldCom is buying Sprint to compete with AT&T, Bell Atlantic, and SBC
Communications which have previously bought other “baby bells” which were created – as were
MCI and Sprint – by the court-ordered break of Ma Bell in the first place. By 2001 there will be
three companies in the entire world – one software/hardware/internet content company; one
communications transmission company; and one company which controls all the energy and
manufacturing capability on the planet.
* Speaking of ruling the planet, the movie, “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, was on television last
night. I wondered what would happened today if a flying saucer from, say, the United States of
America landed on the Mall in Washington and Ross Perot, Jesse Ventura, and Pat Buchanan
came down that ramp.
* Everyone would panic, just like in the movie, except for Larry King who would immediately book
them.
* In the movie, police cars race around like crazy, but it is the Army which surrounds the city,
runs the show and shoots Michael Rennie not once, but twice which makes them seem more like
the FBI.
* That means Janet Reno and Bill Cohen will get co-director credit. Louis Freeh will complain
nobody ever asks for, or follows, his advice.
* Al Gore would, of course play the role of Gort, the robot who just stands there for about half the
movie. We barely have to change the lettering on the back of the director’s chair. In his current
money-saving mode the Veep wouldn’t mind adding two little horizontal lines to the “t.”
* Elizabeth Dole would play the Patricia Neal role. Even though her character is A secretary AT
the Department of Commerce, but not THE Secretary OF the Department of Commerce.
* Newt Gingrich could reprise his role as the weird professor by playing the Sam Jaffe role, the
weird professor.
* The Hugh Marlowe character, who is narrow-minded, self-absorbed, self-promoting, and jealous
of everyone else could easily be played by, well, me.
* I do not have a clue who should play the Michael Rennie role – mysterious, tall, handsome,
good at math, heals fast, great with kids, travels well … Suggestions?
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