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 The Opera is Almost Over. * Let’s review the bidding: Last week the Senate Democrats
were falling all over each other to get in front of TV cameras
to whine about the vote to have the discussions about how
The Trial should proceed behind closed doors. “The American People Have The Right To Know!”
was the mantra.
* Yesterday those same Democrats were in front of those same cameras whining about losing the
vote to have the testimony of Monica, Sidney, and Vernon videotaped. What happened to “The
American People’s Right to Know?” It was buried beneath “The White House’s Desire to Hide.”
* I think there’s a song in this: “Monica, Sidney and Vern.” Anybody here, seen my old friend
laughing? Anybody tell me why he’s stern? It seems a lot of people, have a lot of questions.
Monica, Sidney, and Vern.
* Let’s all agree to add the phrase, “Simple Fairness” to the list of phrases we wish never to hear
again, like “Live Witnesses.” We should, however, willing to contemplate the concept of
“Complicated Fairness” as we previously have “Dead Witnesses.”
* John Gibson had a clip, on his MSNBC show the other night, of President Clinton and First Dog,
Buddy, in which the President feigned throwing a ball, which Buddy then chased but was, of
course, unable to find. That clip was followed by Hillary Rodham Clinton doing her “Vast
Right-Wing Conspiracy rap on the Today Show last January. I said Bill had faked his wife out
much the way as he had Buddy.
* Of the top 15 cable shows last week 8 were “Rugrats,” six were wrestling and the other was a
show entitled “Ultimate Deception,” which was not, I was disappointed to discover, a show about
Bill Clinton’s instructions to Hillary prior to her Today Show appearance.
* We Wish We Were A Fly On the Bulkhead, Dept.: Two sparkling personalities, Vice President
Al “Animatronics Al” Gore and California Governor Grey “Aptly Named” Davis had lunch and clever
repartee aboard Air Force II yesterday. The pilots had to wear special earphones to block any
chance of their hearing the conversation for fear they would, like a helmsman on the Argo,
become enthralled by the two Harpies in the first cabin and attempt to fly the plane through the
Symplegades.
* My son, Reed, who thinks he is sooooo smart because he finished at the University in Texas in
substantially under the seven-and-a-half years it took his old man to get out of Marietta College,
Marietta, Ohio 45750, was the first (of many) to point out that my reference to the Paul Newman
movie in which the protagonist goes to jail for stealing a parking meter and ends up dead was
incorrect inasmuch as the film in question was not “Hud,” but “Cool Hand Luke.”
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