Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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What's French for "Gonzo Journalism?"

Rich Galen

Monday June 20, 2005

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From Manama, Bahrain

The weather here is hot and dusty, thank you for asking. The highs for Sunday (as this is being written) and the next two days, according to the BBC are as follows: 111, Monday: 109, Tuesday: 105.

The humidity is unusually low for this small nation which sits in the Persian Gulf off the coast of Saudi Arabia, so it is not as unbearable as it sounds like it ought to be.

Ok. Europe's leaders appear to need a Continental Time Out.

You already know that French and Dutch voters turned down a new constitution for the European Union a couple of weeks ago. It turns out that was a mere pushing and shoving match between baseball teams compared to the EU smackdown which occurred on Friday.

Without getting too heavily involved in the details, there was a summit of the heads of state of the EU countries to hammer out a new budget. Our old pal Jacques Chirac demanded that our new pal Tony Blair forego several tens of billions of Pounds in budget rebates but refused to give up one single sou of subsidies for French farmers.

According a New York Times analysis by Elaine Sciolino:

"Their attacks on one another after they failed to agree � seemed destructive and unnecessary, and it was not at all clear that they would be able to repair their relationships."

Continuing the kind of diplomacy the French have been practicing over the past several years, the French European Minister - not exactly working to "repair their relationships" - said on French radio, "France is not responsible � Certain countries held onto their national egos. Certain countries, notably Great Britain."

Memo to US Senate Democrats: What was that you were saying about John Bolton not being diplomatic enough to be the US Ambassador to the UN?

In the convoluted manner of all things which attend to the EU, the presidency - which rotates every six months - goes next to none other than Great Britain. According to the U.K. Telegraph, the Prime Minister of Luxembourg (who is the current president and was obviously heavily into the French wine on this thing) said he would not be attending Mr. Blair's speech to mark the beginning of the British term, "on the spurious-sounding grounds that 'it is Luxembourg's national day.' Journalists applauded."

Whoa. Check, please! Journalists applauded? What. Was the President of the EU walking up the red carpet at Cannes? Was the press conference held at John Kerry's house? Journalists applauded?

Speaking of the UN, the Washington Post's coverage of the vote in the US House to withhold a percentage of our dues to the UN until they straighten themselves out provided a fact we had not known. According to reporting by Mike Allen and Colum Lynch, "In addition to the [$330 million in annual] dues, the United States will also pay about $2.5 billion this year in assistance to voluntary programs such as UNICEF."

A moment, please. I know Mike Allen. But I have never met Colum Lynch. How often do you suppose Mr. or Ms. Lynch ran away crying during recess in journalism school after constant taunts of "Column Inch?"

One of the best things about being out of the US is reading the local newspapers. As an example remember the other day when we were discussing the "spork" as a prison utensil suitable for Gitmo?

Once again, Mullings was correct. This item in the United Arab Emirates Gulf News tells all.

A Pakistani inmate in the Dubai Central Jail killed an Afghan inmate by "stabbing him in the chest with a spoon." Reporting by Mona Ahamd got to the bottom of the silverware drawer when she located a source - this is true - who said, "The two men did not get along."

Mona Ahamd? Meet Colum Lynch.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Links to the Journalists applauded piece, the Mike Allen/Colum Lynch piece, the definition of a sou, a Mullfoto and a Catchy Caption which the MD of S&P hasn't seen (if you know what I mean, and I think you do).

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