Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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As Certain as War and Taxes

Friday, June 2, 2000

Mullings was amiss the other day for missing the vote in the U.S. House which repealed the three percent federal telephone tax. It is instructive, however, to consider how hard it is to get rid of a tax once it has been put in place.

This particular tax was put in place to help pay for the Spanish-American War. That was the war of Teddy Roosevelt and the Rough Riders, "Remember the Maine", and "You furnish the pictures; I'll furnish the war."

America's participation in that war started in April, 1898 and ended in December, 1898.

The war took nine months. The tax to pay for it remained in place for 102 years.

Someone call the Gore campaign for me and see if this tax cut goes into the "Risky" column.

A federal appeals court decided, yesterday, that six-year-old Elian Gonzales has not right to an asylum hearing which means his father will probably be free to return with him to Cuba in a couple of weeks.

Agree or disagree, the real lesson here is, unlike some countries - Cuba comes to mind - there is a process to decide these things. Notwithstanding how the Justice Department decided to take the boy from his Miami relatives, the courts - not the Clinton Administration - decided how this would end.

A vacation package press release headline was disappointing: "Last Chance to See 'Willy' Before They 'Free Willy' Again" had nothing to do with White House tours to see the President. It was promoting a tour to Iceland to see Keiko, the Orca whale which played the lead in the "Free Willy" movies. Darn.

The National Spelling Bee was won by 12-year-old George Thampy who spelled correctly the word: Demarche. Last week the young man came in second in the National Geography Contest. Mr. Thampy is home-schooled. As were the next two finishers in the spelling contest.

If it weren't for spell check, Mullings would be unreedable. And, it was only last week that I found out where Azerbaijan is located.

Forget about the orphan in the courtroom. Here's a new definition of chutzpah: The Gore campaign issued a press release yesterday with the following headline: "Bush 'Reinvents' Himself As a Conservationist." This, from the campaign of Al "Guess-Who-I-Am-Today-And-Win-A-Prize" Gore.

Here's the runner-up for the National Chutzpah Bee prize: Interior Secretary Bruce Babbitt, urging President Clinton to issue an order protecting 500,000 acres of woodlands said, "These [forests] are priceless natural landscapes that have somehow remained almost untouched by exploitation, development and urban sprawl."

This, after an employee of Secretary Babbitt's very Department set fires in New Mexico which are burning down entire civilizations. A better idea might be to issue a proclamation leaving national forests "almost untouched" by matches during periods of high fire danger.

Another Administration genius, Energy Secretary Bill Richardson - that would be ENERGY Secretary - said the other day he was concerned about power blackouts in certain sections of the country this summer. "We don't want to panic anybody, but we are concerned in the upper Midwest, in California, in the Southwest and parts of the Northeast," he said.

Mullings doesn't want to panic anybody, either, but isn't this sort of Bill Richardson's job? I mean, in addition to protecting nuclear secrets at the Los Alamos National Lab which, as noted above, his colleague is doing his level best to burn down.

I can't wait to see who Al "I-Invented-Electricity" Gore blames when "certain sections of the country" - all of which are critical to his Presidential campaign - go dark this summer.

Here's an interesting tidbit: Of the 52 people listed as the official delegation traveling with President Clinton to Germany, 16 - 31 percent - have in their titles the words Press, Public Affairs, or Speechwriter.

Attorney F. Lee Bailey is facing disbarment proceedings for lying under oath about whether he knew there was a government order against selling a client's assets to pay his fee. Imagine. A well-known attorney losing his license for lying under oath. Heyyyyyyyy. Wait a minute!

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Copyright © 2000 Richard A. Galen

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