KEN: Good morning. I am Ken Infinite. Welcome to the Mullings Cable Network's Full-Time-All-The-Time-Just-In-Time-The-Times-They-Are-A'Changin' coverage of Operation Iraqi Freedom. Let's go now to our reporter, Rich Galen, who is embedded with the protesters in San Francisco. Rich? What can you tell us.

RICH: First of all, Ken, to protect my identity I have donned this disguise and am known to the protesters only as "Ashleigh." As it is not at all unusual to see a person here, among this group, dressed like a woman needing a shave, I am fitting in quite well.

KEN: Right.

RICH/ASHLEIGH: Second, the agreement we have with the protest leaders is we can report on what we are seeing and what we have seen, but we cannot report on any future movements.

K: Got it.

R/A: Here's what I can tell you. Protest forces now have control - control, Ken - of the Starbucks on Market near Nordstrom's. Because commuters who frequent this particular Starbucks are being turned away, the International Red Cross is warning of a "humanitarian crisis" due of a lack of lattes and biscottis.

A source inside the Starbucks said the protesters, to quote one barrista, are "playing with the cappuccino machine and laughing like loons."

We can now report, however, that supplies of huckleberry and blueberry scones have been seen crossing the Bay Bridge and may on their way at this very minute to re-supply the commuting public.

K: That is very good news, indeed. We should tell our viewers that
Rich -

R/A: - Ashleigh ...

K: - Ashleigh is reporting to us from a public wireless connection site using a web cam. Who would have thought that this kind of technology would be available to us when we were both young reporters?

R/A: It IS amazing, Ken. Now. Let me talk a little about the supply lines necessary to support these protesters about which some of their leaders have begun to be concerned. We have reports that logistical support units are now having to walk as far as five or six blocks to find a Bank of America ATM machine which will dispense enough cash to keep this group on the move.

K: Any more word on defensive measures?

R/A: Earlier this morning city officials brought in their heavy armor: Two cable cars from the Powell & Market line were rolled into position, just before dawn, blocking access to Macy's and to the St. Francis Hotel. Because of the typical early morning weather here, no one saw the maneuver until it was too late.

K: The fog of war. What did the protesters do?

R/A: It turns out there is a sale going on at The Gap, and a number of protesters decided to take advantage of that target of opportunity. I, myself, bought these khaki slacks at a very attractive price.

K: Nice.

R/A: Another interesting point, Ken, is that even among the protesters there is a growing disaffection with the French. I had one protester, who had been known to me as "Jacques," inform me this morning he wanted, henceforth, for me to call him "Juan."

K: That seems the perfect solution to changing one's nationality without having to buy new guest towels. Ri - Ashleigh, any idea how much longer these protests will continue?

R/A: This is one of those areas which, for operational security reasons, we can't discuss on the air. I think, however, I can help you out with these four words: End. Of. Spring. Break.

K: We'll have our Mullings Cable Network retired intelligence analysts work on that for us.

RICH/ASHLEIGH: This is Ashleigh embedded with the protesters, reporting from San Francisco.

(Off mike) Hey, hands off, big boy! Oh. Sorry, miss.

KEN: Rich Galen, experiencing hand-to-hand combat in San Francisco.