Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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It's Only Money

Monday, January 22, 2001

Here's what the Inaugural Celebration was like for me. We went to the Black Tie & Boots Ball, sort of.

This is what was supposed to have happened:
- Friends of ours from Annapolis rented a limo to bring them to The
People's Republic of Alexandria; where they were to pick me up;
drive into Your Nation's Capital; pick up the Mullings Director
of Standards and Practices; drive up to the Hotel where the
ball was being held; wait for us to dance, dance, dance; drive
us back to our various homes and return to Annapolis.

Here's what really happened:
- They got to my house at about 5:15 pm. We left for The District at
six. Normal travel time, 15-18 minutes. We got to downtown
Washington at seven.
- We headed north on Connecticut Avenue to the hotel where the
Black Tie & Boots Ball was being held, a distance of 1.73
miles. Normal travel time about ten minutes at that time of
night. Actual travel time? Two hours.
- At nine, we hopped out of the limo (which was one of those long
white things in which the back seat is separated from the driver
by the curvature of the earth) and into the rainstorm which was
now sitting over Washington.
- We got into the hotel; were told that the main ballroom was full
and therefore closed; went to the drink tickets table ($100
minimum); decided we were not that thirsty; found the line to
escalators to go to the second floor ballrooms; decided we were
not that eager; the women used the restroom; I decided I didn't
have to go that badly.
- We decided to bail out of the Black Tie & Boots Ball and go to the
Palm Restaurant for dinner. A phone call got us reservations at
10. We called the driver to tell him to meet us on Connecticut
Avenue. He said he was one block away and would wait.
- We headed outside into a rainstorm which, by now, made "The
African Queen" look like it was movie about two people lost in
the desert. The driver was not where he said he would be.
- We called again. He said he had been forced to turn right off
Connecticut onto Calvert Street so the motorcade could get
through. He took his first left in an effort to turn around.
That put him on the Rock Creek Parkway from which there is no
known escape.
- We hopped in a cab and asked him to take us to the Palm. We
called our driver and told him not to worry, pick us up at
midnight, which he did.
- Total cost? Tickets for the Black Tie & Boots Ball: $175 a pop or
$700. Limo: $75 per hour, ten hour minimum or $750. Bathrooms:
Free. Cab ride: $11 plus tip or $15.
- Total: $1,465.
- For a pit stop. At a Marriott. Priceless

So what? You only get to see a guy named George Bush inaugurated once. Oh. Wait.

Actually, it was very exciting to be in Your Nation's Capital on Inauguration Day. It was rainy. It was windy. It was cold. It was great.

Bill Clinton has announced he will be spending his first week as a private citizen signing Executive Orders to undo the Executive Orders President Bush signed on Saturday which were to undo the Executive Orders Bill Clinton had signed in between granting a Presidential pardon to everyone in his address book.

Clinton made this announcement at a spontaneous "Welcome Home to New York" rally which happened to have taken place in front of those windows on the "Today Show" set which look out onto Rockefeller Center between seven and nine Monday morning.

Small-minded-pay-back: Five years ago Connie Chung, of CBS News, interviewed the mother of Newt Gingrich on the eve of his being sworn in as Speaker of the House. She tricked Gingrich's mom into saying that Newt thought Hillary Clinton was a bitch. This, on national television, was embarrassing to the Speaker, the First Lady, and ultimately to Connie Chung.

On Saturday morning someone came up to me to see if I could provide just one "Seated" ticket to the swearing-in for Ms. Chung. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

In answer to the many e-mails demanding to know the identity of the actor who showed up with an entourage of five people instead of the expected two: Kelsey Grammer.
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Copyright © 2001 Richard A. Galen

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