Ok. These were the survival supplies I brought along for the trip (in Coach) from Washington to New York JFK; JFK to Amsterdam; Amsterdam to Dubai.
The story doesn't involve why I flew over in Coach it involves the young man who was sitting next to me on the flight from JFK to Amsterdam. This is the story:
He told me he was a history teacher at a high school in Queens and he was going to meet his brother, a law student at Columbia University, in Amsterdam.
They were going to spend a day or two there and then take the train to Prague.
I said that Prague was one of the prettiest cities in Europe, if only because no one had bothered to bomb it during World War II.
He asked if I knew that movie "Amadeus?"
I allowed as how I did.
He said that it was based in Vienna where Beethoven had lived, but because Prague looked so much like it, they had filmed it there.
I looked at him - in that uncomfortable way one does when looking at the person sitting next to one in ... coach - and said, "Are you kidding?"
"No," he said. "It was filmed in Prague."
"I mean about Beethoven."
He looked at me.
"Amadeus," I said, is not about the life of Beethoven, it is about the life of Mozart - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart."
He swallowed and said "Well, it was someone else's story."
There's more.
After a few minutes he said, "Can I give you a geography quiz?"
Happy to let him off the hook I said he could.
"Ok. If you are standing on Montauk Point (the eastern-most point on Long Island), and you head east, which European Country will you hit first?
I have looked at a map or two in my day, so I knew the answer, but I took my time as if I had to think about it.
"Portugal," I said.
His shoulders sagged. "That's right," he said.
Here was a kid who was teaching in Queens and had been embarassed over the Beethoven deal and I could have said, "England" which he was expecting so he could get back to even and which would have cost me exactly nothing, but I didn't.
I gave him some Raisinets but I still felt awful.
She might have had a better time if she hadn't (a)been wearing that long, blue skirt and (b)doing the Macarena.