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A Slow News Day

Wednesday, May 8, 2002

• TITLE: "A Slow News Day" This is what's known as "irony." Irony is defined as "The use of words to express something other than and especially the opposite of the literal meaning."

  It is well known that irony, as a source of humor, does not work in Iowa. If it's 2 million degrees outside in August and you say, "... little chilly today, eh?" You will be looked upon as what we call "the simple son."

• "... Ken Lay's wife ..." Here's the link to the BBC article about the wife of Kenneth Lay holding a rummage sale.

• "... You Can't Always Get What You Want ..."
  
  A 1969 Rolling Stones song featured on the "Let it Bleed" album, written by Keith Richards & Mick Jagger. Additional vocals by the London Bach Choir.

  I saw her today at the reception
  A glass of wine in her hand.
  I knew she was gonna meet her connection,
  At her feet was a footloose man.
  
  And you can't always get what you want,
  Honey, you can't always get what you want.
  You can't always get what you want
  But if you try sometimes, yeah,
  You just might find you get what you need!
  
  I went down to the demonstration
  To get our fair share of abuse,
  Singing, "We gonna vent our frustration."
  If we don't we're gonna blow a fifty amp fuse.
  So, I went to the Chelsea Drugstore
  To get your prescription filled.
  I was standing in line with my friend, Mr. Jimmy.
  And man, did he look pretty ill.
  We decided that we would have a soda,
  My favorite flavour was cherry red.
  I sing this song to my friend, Jimmy,
  And he said one word to me and that was "dead."
  And I said to him
  
  And you can't always get what you want, honey.
  You can't always get what you want.
  You can't always get what you want.
  But if you try sometimes, yeah,
  You just might find you get what you need!
  
  I saw her today at the reception.
  In her glass was a bleeding man.
  She was practiced at the art of deception;
  I could tell by her blood-stained hands.
  
  And you can't always get what you want, honey.
  You can't always get what you want.
  You can't always get what you want,
  But if you try sometimes, yeah,
  You just might find you get what you need!
  
  And you can't always get what you want, honey,
  You can't always get what you want,
  You cant always get what you want,
  But if you try sometimes, yeah,
  You just might find you get what you need

• "... Campaign Finance ..." Here's the link to the AP story about Campaign Finance Reform.
  
  
          World War I Poster

  
  

•     Mullings' Catchy Caption of the Day:
  

  
  Where the hell'd you get that suit? Uncle Ted?

  (AP Photo/Bob Child) ____________________________________________________________________________________