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 Are You Now or Have You Ever Been...
* Thomas Alva "Al" Gore has overstated the results of his "reinventing government'" project which, he claims, has saved $21.8 billion. The General Accounting Office says he lacks evidence to support the claim, has inflated savings by double-counting cost cuts, and has taken credit for savings that may have been the result of other efforts to cut government bureaucracy.
* This lack of strict attention to the truth has occurred since the Gore team decided they had to flush their original game plan down the toilet and have Bill Clinton campaign with them. Coincidence?
* It is my imagination, or is this true: Analysis on public policy from a liberal point of view is generally labeled "non-partisan," as opposed analysis from any different point of view which is always labeled, "conservative."
* I am now convinced that the Warren Beatty for President boomlet is really a front for his wife Annette Benning (who was once in a movie about being a President's girl friend) to run for Governor of New Jersey after Christy Todd Whitman is elected to the Senate.
* President Bill Clinton has announced he is skipping the opening of the UN General Assembly because it is scheduled on the same day as the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. This must be out of respect for Hillary's new ancestry - which is nothing, if not oxymoronic. "Old Testament Al" Gore is planning to use the occasion to announce he invented Judaism.
* Steve Forbes says he is the candidate of the Movement Conservatives in the Republican party, taking dead aim at Gary Bauer's constituency. Why have his strategists have decided to open a two-front war - one against Bush, in the other against Bauer? Opening a two-front action is the second most classic blunder, behind "never get involved a land war in Asia." Inconceivable.
* Meanwhile, the University of Tennessee football team - last year's national champions - were honored at the White House with Bill Clinton and Al "Go Long" Gore in attendance. Gore, pointing to a football, used the occasion to remind everyone he had invented air.
* Here's my advice du jour for the Bush campaign: Have someone on the campaign staff ask the cocaine question first thing every morning so when a reporter asks it, the Governor will have already heard it that day.
* AP Headline of the week: "Detroit Crime Down, Except Murders." Leave it to the press to focus on the negatives.
* There are a series of "Goreisms" - alleged quotes by our Vice President - making their way around the internet, including such dandies as "If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." For the full list, look at the Secret Decoder Ring section at www.mullings.com.
* On the positive side for Gore, Kiki Moore will be joining the campaign as press secretary beginning September 1. The Kiki and Karen show. Let's get ready to rumble!
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