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 I Think It Was Eleanore Roosevelt's Fault
* Hillary Clinton is all over the news for telling "Talk" magazine Bill's dalliance with Monica was the result of his mother and grandmother not getting along with each other. According to reports she says he was "abused" as a child because he was "in the middle of a conflict between two women" which "is the worst possible situation" for a young boy.
* Hillary apparently plans to continue to be America's Wounded-Woman-in-Chief, forever.
* She is, single-handedly, moving the nation from CFS - Clinton Fatigue Syndrome, to CES - Clinton Exhaustion Syndrome.
* Now that Hillary has handed Clinton a lifetime get-out-of-jail-free card, he can hang out at the Safeway, wait until two women get into an argument over something like whether the Evian water counts as one or six items in the 8-items-or-less lane, claim he has had a flashback to his "childhood abuse," and get on the phone to the intern office.
* Meanwhile Monica was in a car wreck in California over the weekend suffering only minor injuries when she flipped her SUV. When the cops got there she was quoted as saying "can't we just all get along?"
* Ken Starr immediately issued a subpoena for the way-back seat.
* Under the radar screen, Clinton was fined over $90,000 last week by Judge Susan Webber Wright for lying under oath in the Paula Jones lawsuit. That brings to nearly one million dollars he will have had to shell out in a case which he has consistently said had no merit and which had effectively been dismissed.
* More jurisprudence: Linda Tripp was indicted by a Maryland prosecutor for taping her phone calls with Monica Lewinsky. Given the way this case has gone, it would not surprise me if Tripp were found guilty while the Maryland legislature moved to reinstate the firing squad.
* The campaign staff for Al "I-Would-Never-Use-A-Family-Tragedy-For-Political-Purposes" Gore said they were unconcerned with the prospect of yet ANOTHER week of Clinton scandals revisited, but they have taken away Gore's shoelaces and belt, just to be on the safe side.
* On Saturday I went to the new U.S. Postal Service building in Alexandria to purchase some stamps for the first-of-the-month bill paying. The stamp machine in the lobby has a sign which says it does not accept the new twenty dollar bills. Dope dealers have adjusted to the new 20's.
* The news from Iowa last week was a charge that Steve Forbes' campaign had contacted a temp agency to find out how much it would cost to "hire" people for the day to attend the straw poll and, one suspects, vote for Forbes. The campaign denied the charge, but the rumors abound that Forbes Publishing is involved in negotiations to rent the entire staff of Des Moines-based Meredith Publishing (Ladies' Home Journal, Better Homes & Gardens) just until August 15th.
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