Mullings An American Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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Making Fun of Pelosi

Rich Galen

Monday December 27, 2010

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I am writing this as the Mullings Director of Standards & Practices and I wend our way from Southeastern Ohio to Southern California. We are not in the line of fire of the snowstorm which is bearing down on the East Coast, but it made me think about how cold it has been in Your Nation's Capital this month.

According to Weather.com the average temperatures for Washington, DC in December are highs of 47 and a lows of 32.

In December of the year following the WARMEST DECADE ON RECORD for any planet not spelled "Mercury" the average temps in your nation's capital, according to the National Weather Service, have been a high of 40 and a low of 29.

Danger Will Robinson! We're heading for an Ice Age. Buy SUVs!

SIDEBAR:

Three things.
-- First, as I was standing in the scanner with my arms over my head I asked the TSA agent for "2 8x10's and six wallet-sized." She didn't laugh but she let me through anyway.
-- Second, an announcement came over the airport speaker system for "A representative from Channel 10 News" to "return to your vehicle." I shouted "Tow it! It will make great video!"
No one laughed at that either. Must be losing my touch.
-- In Atlanta we were going down the escalator into the "Transportation Mall" where the trains take you between terminals. A mom and a little girl were coming up the other side. Mom was crouched on the metal stairs holding the little girl whose eyes were as wide as saucers as she looked waaaaayyyy up to the top.
I said as I passed them, "It's a ride! It's a ride." Her dad, whom I had not noticed was a couple of steps behind them holding one of those strollers which look like a Lunar Excursion Module ahead of him and hanging onto two roll-aboards behind him.
"It's work! It's work!" he said.
We all laughed. He has my touch.

END SIDEBAR:

Change of direction notice. I was going to spend the back end of today's MULLINGS making great fun of Nancy Pelosi's reported (and denied) attempt to get Steven Spielberg to help "rebrand" the Democratic Party in general, or Nancy Pelosi in particular.

I was going to be the Large Hadron Collider of unpleasantness. Each simile would zoom around in my head picking up energy until it burst forth in a shower of subatomic references. It was going to be great. References to the Shark in "Jaws," all of the aliens in "Close Encounters," the dinosaurs in "Jurassic Park," and the beating heart scene in "Raiders: Temple of Doom."

It was going to be epic!

Alas, just then the front boarding door was closed prior to the flight from Columbus to Atlanta and I had to switch my electronic devices to "the off position." Not just off, mind you, but to the "off position. I turned off my laptop, my Blackberry, my iPad and my Sunbeam Mixmaster Blender in which I was going to prepare those frothy drinks I do so enjoy on a long flight.

I picked up Delta's Sky Magazine. Someone had already done the crossword (as this is the 26th day of December and this magazine has been in this seatback pocket through who knows what-all for the month), so I flipped to the back to read the "Last Laugh" column typically written by a well-known comedian.

This one was written by Lewis Black who recounted his USO trip to Iraq and Afghanistan last year. It was very funny, but then I came to this story which, if you have not flown Delta this month you will have missed, but you should read:

"Early one morning," Lewis Black wrote, "I was talking with a female soldier who was just about finished with her tour of duty and was scheduled to rotate home. She told me that she had a friend - another female soldier - who had five months to go in her tour. Her husband, also in the military, was home in the states with their daughter. He had recently received orders to be deployed to Afghanistan, leaving the baby without a parent at home.
"The woman I was talking to had volunteered to take her friend's place for the next five months, so the other woman could go home to her daughter. The base commander signed off on the deal. Talk about the "Gift of the Magi." To put oneself in harm's way for a friend. The woman's generosity took my breath away."

Somehow making fun of Nancy Pelosi didn't seem worth the effort.

Still want a frothy drink, though.

On the Secret Decoder Ring today: Links to the stories above, plus a GREAT Mullfoto of our Christmas Turkey and very, very disturbing Catchy Caption of the Day.

--END --

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