Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Dreyfus Returns: My Trip to Paris
Part 1: Preface
Part 2: Outward Bound
Part 3: Across the Pond
Part 4: Paris Underground
Part 5: Sorely, You Must be Kidding
Part 6: Loose in the Louvre

NEW! Part 7: What's French for Restaurant

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Live! From Zacarias Cove

Wednesday, December 12, 2001

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The U.S. Justice department has zeroed in on a 33-year-old thug who, it charges, conspired with Osama bin Laden and the 19 dead hijackers to plan and execute the September 11 attacks.

His name is Zacarias Moussaoui. Four of the six counts in the indictment carry the death penalty.

Zacarias will not be tried in Spain, or France, or anyplace else on the European continent which forbids the death penalty.

The Zacarias Moussaoui trial will, it appears, take place in the Federal Courthouse right here in good old Alexandria, Virginia. There are probably plenty of people in Alexandria who are opposed to the death penalty. But most of them are not judges in the Federal Court here.

according to an AP story by Anne Gearan, defense attorneys have said the Alexandria Federal Court is "notoriously, legendarily hospitable to the prosecution.''

Good.

By the time this trial gets up and running, look for old Zacarias' attorneys to DEMAND trial by a secret military tribunal.

When the Monica Lewinsky Grand jury was operating out of the courthouse in Washington, DC, a huge number of reporters, technicians, and camera operators camped out day after day. There were enough microwave trucks parked out there to pop Orville Reddenbacker's entire output.

GOPAC, which I ran at the time, got credit for naming the scene: Monica Beach.

When the long, crowded stake-out begins in Alexandria, we might take to calling that portion of South Washington Street: Zacarias Cove.

There are a large number of reporters in Your Nation's Capital who have not been to Kabul or Jalabad, or any place east of Annapolis, Maryland since the fighting started in Ahf-gahn-ee-stahn. This will be their chance to pretend they are involved in war reporting. There will be so many people in front of the courthouse I can already declare that the recession is officially over in Alexandria.

Live, from Zacarias Cove.

I am taking a lawn chair out of the garage, writing my name with a Sharpie on duct tape, putting the tape on the back, and walking it up there from Mullings Central to secure a good vantage point.

I will be the Geraldo of Old Town, Alexandria. I'll dodge SUVs in the turn lane. I'll exist on nothing but Grand� Mochas from the Starbucks around the corner. Once in a while humanitarian aid might be delivered in the form of sandwiches from the Sutton Place Gourmet down the block.

I'll dye my hair like Ashleigh Banfield. If I had hair. I'll dress up like a lawyer so I can move about invisibly. I'll double park the Mullmobile with the flashers on during rush hour just like the locals. I want to do reports from the scene for Fox and Friends:

"Let's go to Rich Galen who is at the Courthouse in Alexandria, Virginia."
"There was very heavy briefing overnight, E.D. The sounds of Xerox machines could be heard all the way to the Pier 1 Imports store across the street. We have heard reports, so far unconfirmed, that the defense team has retreated all the way to the top floor of the Gap Outlet on King Street and the prosecution is setting up a perimeter near the Pendleton store - which, by the way, is having its winter sale on sweaters - to block any further retreat. Back to you, in the studio."
"Rich, Brian here, can you tell us if there have been any reports of civilian casualties?"
"As you know, Brian, the Alexandria Junior League has been trying to bring in relief supplies from La Madeline but, according to our sources, they have been withdrawn because it is just too dangerous for the gals. Just one example of the danger: As cold weather moves in, the Restoration Hardware has been completely cleaned out. This is no place for civilians."
"That was Rich Galen from Alexandria, Virginia. Stay safe."
"I'll try, Steve."

I was BORN for this.

This is true: On Monday night, National Press Club website had the following notice in the section dealing with upcoming events: Exercise Your Conscience. THIS EVENT HAS BEEN CANCELLED. [Emphasis Theirs.]

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