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The definition of the word mull.
Mullings by Rich Galen�
A Political Cyber-Column By Rich Galen
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    The Korean Revision

    Friday October 18, 2002

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    • Big news: The North Koreans were lying about whether or not they were continuing to build nuclear weapons. Here was the headline on the BBC website: "Shock at N. Korean Nuclear 'Admission'"

    • Get me Claude Rains on the phone, and I mean now.

    • What happened was, an Assistant Secretary of State asked the North Koreans if they were developing a nuclear weapon.

    • The North Koreans said, "No."

    • The Assistant Secretary spread some photos out on the table, then said something like, "Are you lying?"

    • The North Koreans said, "Uh, Yes. Say, would you like seconds of this excellent kimchi?"

    • The South Koreans and the Japanese seem to be willing to give the North Koreans a pass on this modest revision of the facts, the BBC reporting, "South Korea and Japan said the surprise statement would not alter their plans to try and improve ties with the secretive North."

    • I think the Japanese and the Koreans may be on to something. This business of all-honesty-all-the-time might make for good Sunday sermon material, but it creates some real-life problems.

    • Come, Sherman! Into the Wayback Machine! To the "New Economy" days of the late 1990's when - to hear Democrats wax rhapsodic about them - market indices were always up, portfolios were always increasing in value, the children always took out the garbage and did their homework without being threatened, and rain could never fall 'till after sundown.

    • There is overwhelming evidence that the "New Economy" was largely based on old accounting: One set of books for the owners and another set of books for the government and the investors.

    • Someone asked Arthur Andersen if the books of their major clients were cooked.

    • The Andersen accounting partners said, "No."

    • Then bankers and SEC guys spread some documents on the table and said something like, "Are you lying?"

    • The Andersen accountants said, "Uh, Yes. And, pay no attention to those shredding sounds you hear coming from the other conference room."

    • And the NASDAQ, which had been at slightly over 5,000 in March of 2000, plunged to its low of just north of 1,100 a couple of weeks ago.

    • Tell the truth: Given a choice between knowing what was really going on at Enron and WorldCom and Global Crossing; and having your 401k still about where it was in March, 2000 - which would you choose?

    • Are you lying?

    • From our "Do-You-Know-Who-I-Am?" Department: Women's Wear Daily has an eyewitness account about Our Man 'o the People, Dick Gephardt:
      -- Gephardt got into the first class car on a train from Washington to New York with an aide and a bodyguard (incorrectly identified in the WWD piece as a "Secret Service Agent"), who;

      -- Insisted that the conductor move people, who were already seated, so Gephardt could sit with said aide and said bodyguard, after which;

      -- The conductor, collecting tickets, saw that Gephardt, aide, and bodyguard had tickets for the hoi polloi section, NOT first class, causing;

      -- Gephardt, aide, and bodyguard to "skulk" through the door marked "Great Unwashed," leading;

      -- At least one fully-funded first class passenger to break into applause.

    • If wishes were horses, this is how the episode WOULD have ended:
      CONDUCTOR: Congressman are you supposed to be in the coach section?

      GEPHARDT: "No."

      CONDUCTOR (holding the three tickets fanned out in front of him): "Are you lying?"

      GEPHARDT: "Uh, Yes. Say, would you like an autographed photo of me with President Bush?"

      Gephardt signs the photograph and hands it to the conductor who reads:

      "Best Wishes, Newt Gingrich."

    • That last bit is made up. The story, which you can read on the Secret Decoder Ring page, today, is true. Also on the SDR a recipe for kimchi, an explanation of the Claude Raines reference, a definition of hoi polloi, and the usual photos and captions.

      --END --
      Copyright © 2002 Richard A. Galen

                                                                           

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