Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Through the Looking Glass - and Darkly

Friday, October 3, 2003

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This week was strange enough to qualify for a chapter in a Lewis Carroll novel, as recited by George S. Patton.

First, let's look at Rush Limbaugh's week. Not the best he's had, we'd wager.

Let's put aside the pain-killer issue until we know more. On the ESPN front we have a person - Limbaugh - who was hired by a network - ESPN - to build the ratings of a studio show leading up to the NFL games on Sundays by providing commentary.

We assume the network - ESPN - did not hire the person - Limbaugh - to sit in a chair and talk about the weather, or to compare cheerleaders, or to blandly agree with the other studio actors. We assume he was there to provide provocative commentary and build ratings.

Which Limbaugh did. ESPN's ratings were up 10% with the addition of Rush.

But, when Rush provided commentary on whether the quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles was being treated gently by the press because of his color, it was TOO provocative, so when Rush offered to quit, ESPN accepted.

Here's an example of someone doing his job, as Othello might have said, "not too wisely, but too well" and suffering for it.

Second, we have the case of the Los Angeles Times' article on Arnold Schwarzenegger.

According to the paper in the past 30 years, six women have complained to friends about being groped by Schwarzenegger.

It is passing strange that the paper assigned at least two reporters to conduct a "seven-week examination of Schwarzenegger's behavior toward women on and off the movie set" and the editors finally nailed down the story to the point it could be printed FIVE DAYS BEFORE THE ELECTION.

I'm shocked.

Without in any way excusing such behavior, I would like to return to the days of yesteryear when that other well-known serial-groper, William "You're-Like-an-Octopus" Clinton was accused of groping a woman name Kathleen Willey, not in an elevator or on a movie set; but in a room off the Oval Office.

At the time those noted feminists, Gloria Steinem and Patricia Ireland, did not defend their fellow woman �

Dear Mr. Mullings. We think the phrase "fellow woman" qualifies as an oxymoron, much the same way as "clever Mullings" does.

Signed, Gale Storm and Rip Torn

� but, in fact Ms. Steinem wrote an op-ed piece in the New York Times which suggested that, as Bill "You're-All-Hands" Clinton had stopped when Ms. Willey told him to, all was well which, in a 1998 Mullings I named the "Three-F: The First Feel is Free" theory of interpersonal relationships.

The point here is, there appears to be just the slightest, teensiest, barely noticeable amount of hypocrisy about Arnold who has never claimed to be a saint.

Finally, there is the salivating coverage of THE LEAK among the Washington press corps at week's end.

The Washington press corps lives on leaks. It exists on leaks. It survives on leaks. One of the Washington press corps' longest-running complaints about the Bush Administration is that it doesn't leak enough.

So for the Washington press corps to pretend it is outraged by this leak is � is an outrage.

Six reporters (those who were called by the leaker) know who the leaker is. The leaker knows who the leaker is. This whole thing can end with the leaker making one additional phone call: To Andy Card, the White House chief of staff, to say identify him/her self and say that his/her letter of resignation is on its way to Card's desk.

The final words of Carroll's "Alice in Wonderland:"

Ever drifting down the stream --
Lingering in the golden gleam --
Life, what is it, but a dream?

And a closing stanza from George S. Patton's 1922 poem:

So as through a glass and darkly
The age long strife I see
Where I fought in many guises,
Many names -- but always me.

In politics we fight in many guises, under many names but we always fight.

And it is always us.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Links to "Alice in Wonderland" and the full Patton poem; the LA Times article about Arnold and another link to his reaction; plus the usual photos, posters and captions.

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