Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

�

Click here for the Secret Decoder Ring to this issue!

The Office of the White House Chief Usher

Monday September 25, 2000

Thank you for your generous donation to Mrs. Clinton's campaign for United States Senate. As indicated on the enclosed White House/Camp David Official Confirmation Form (WH/CDOCF) you and a guest are scheduled to sleep in the Lincoln Bedroom at the White House or in one of the very comfortable guest cabins at Camp David.

The combination of soft personal money, soft corporate money, hard personal FEC money and your commitment to raise the additional funds as indicated on your White House/Camp David Official Reservation Form (WH/CDORF) entitles you to our very fine "Getting To Know You, Getting To Know All About You" One Night Snack Package. This includes:
    -- Early evening arrival, with an evening snack (not dinner)
    -- Your choice of any two movies on the close-circuit television
       system
    -- A complimentary photo (with your likeness digitally inserted) with
       EITHER Socks OR Buddy
    -- Continental breakfast including our famous "White House Coffee"
    -- Our "Friends and Family" gift pack which includes a White House
       ash tray, a hand towel, a replica official coffee cup
       and saucer, and a selection of matches, napkins, and a
       bed-side notepad.

If you wish to upgrade to our most prestigious "You Love Us, You Really Love Us" Run Of The Place Package, please note that on the form provided indicating the additional amount you will be contributing, the account(s) from which the funds will be drawn and the date of the transfer of said funds.

The Run Of The Place Package includes:
    -- Afternoon Arrival on Friday Evening for a romantic two-night stay.
    -- Dinner in the Cabinet Room (at the White House) or the
       President's Mess (at Camp David) including an appetizer, soup
       OR salad, your choice of two cold OR one hot entr�e, dessert,
       coffee or tea.
    -- Two movies on the closed circuit television system EACH night.
    -- A late night snack including a complimentary split of sparkling
       wine with two "Take 'em Home and Show 'em Off" souvenir
       glasses.
    -- A full "Arkansas Breakfast" in the morning including your choice
       of ham, sausage OR bacon, egg substitute, canned fruit in the
       heavy syrup and coffee. (Guests on the "Lieberman Package" can
       choose from an alternative menu).
    -- Lunch "On Your Own."
    -- An afternoon tour of the famous White House Briefing room (for
       White House guests) or the famous "Peace Talks Den" (for Camp
       David guests).
    -- A reprise of your fabulous dinner from the night before.
    -- A "White House Lite" snack before you retire which includes our
       famous "White House Coffee" and a hearty portion of Oreo
       "Double Stuff" cookies.
    -- Note please: Due to scheduling requirements, there will be two
       seatings at dinner. Please indicate if you prefer early
       or late seating on the enclosed White House/Camp David
       Official Seating Form (WH/CDOSF).
    -- The "Friends and Family" gift pack is upgraded to include a real
       cup and saucer and a souvenir pen to augment the notepad.

Please note there are some general rules which apply to both packages at both locations:
    -- If President or First Lady are in residence, your movements may
       be curtailed at the request of the Secret Service. Although
       this has never happened, we like to alert you to the
       possibility.
    -- Official duties - war, peace talks, or additional fund raising events
       - may require cancellation of your reservation. While
       every effort will be made to reschedule your stay prior to
       January 20, 2001, no requests for refunds can be entertained.
       If you are cancelled because of a declaration of war, think
       about the great story that will make at your private club, or
       the studio commissary.
    -- Parking in the area of the White House is difficult at best. Please
       plan to have a car and driver drop you off and pick you up.
    -- At the White House there are 132 rooms, 32 bathrooms, 412
       doors, 147 windows, 28 fireplaces, 7 staircases, and 3
       elevators. You will be required to: not peek into; stay
       away from; not walk through; refrain from looking out of;
       not light a fire in; not walk up or down using; and, not
       ride in, any of them.
    -- Traffic in Washington, DC is unpredictable. Everything from street
       fairs to world trade protests will add texture to your visit
       which will be enhanced if you plan to arrive in plenty of time.
    -- For those traveling to Camp David, please keep in mind that traffic
       during the height of fall foliage can be very slow, indeed.
       Those who have qualified for the "Hillary Helicopter Package"
       not not be affected.

-- END --

Copyright © 2000 Richard A. Galen

Current Issue | Secret Decoder Ring | Past Issues | Email Rich | Rich Who?