Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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A Powell and a Rumsfeld

Wednesday September 18, 2002

Here is a link to a page of MullPhotos taken at the ceremony commemorating the September 11 attacks at the Pentagon. Be warned - it has 13 photos and will take some time to load on a dial-up line.

Click here for an Easy Print Version
NOTE: The White House has released a review of all the times Saddam has cheated and/or lied. You can read it on the Secret Decoder Ring page.

Al Capone is credited with having said, "You can get a lot more done with a kind word and a gun, than with a kind word alone."

The Bush Modification is: "You can get a lot more done with a Powell and a Rumsfeld, than with a Powell alone."

We have been through this before but, judging from the grades on your last exam, we'll go over it again.

It is very useful to have a Secretary of State Colin Powell AND a Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld to get our allies' minds right when it comes to doing what we think is in everyone's best interests.

Secretary Powell (the good cop) goes to Paris, or to Cairo, or to Moscow and says, "You have to give me SOMETHING here. Don't MAKE me go back and tell Rumsfeld (the bad cop) I got no movement. You KNOW what he wants to do. WORK with me here!"

You can imagine the French, the Egyptians, or the Russians racing back to their offices and telling their secretaries (they still have secretaries over there. Here, of course, they've all been promoted to Executive Assistants) to "Get me Saddam on the phone and I mean now!" in the appropriate language.

Saddam was brought to the point of sending that letter to Secretary-General Kofi Annan by semi-public pressure being applied by the people who claim to be our allies after they realized President Bush was serious. Very serious.

Saddam might also be under some serious internal pressures: His Generals don't want to die. Their officers and men don't want to die. The civilian population, it has been reported, may not be that fond of Saddam to begin with, so it is just possible this has as much to do with avoiding a coup as avoiding an invasion.

Now that the matter is back in the U.N. who do we hear from first? Our friends the French. Get a load of this statement by the French Foreign Minister, Dominique de Villepin, on what President Bush might do next: "This could be the most important foreign policy decision they will take since World War II."

Let's see ... That foreign policy decision we took getting into World War II? It was to RESCUE FRANCE!

All right. That's it. This time I mean it. No more French toast, French onion soup, French vanilla ice cream, French bread, French wine, Dijon mustard, cr�me br�l�e, quiche, or - no matter what McDonald's is doing to make them less deadly - French fries.

I know there is a kissing joke in here somewhere, but you and I BOTH know that it would never make it through the Mullings Director of Standards & Practices.

As usual, Mullings has a very excellent idea. The UN should demand the Iraqis answer - before the inspectors go in - this question:

Upon pain of full-scale invasion, do you possess, in any stage of development, in any location, any weapon which has been prohibited to you by any of the 16 UN resolutions imposed upon you over the past 10 years?

Or watch the French Connection or the French Lieutenant's Woman.

Guess who showed up in Florida yesterday? Al Gore. To say that if he had been the governor he would have made certain that the voting went smoothly.

I will not wear French cuffs, admire girls with French braids, or go to the French Quarter.

Two things:

First: What state would that be, Mr. Gore? Tennessee? Nope, you lost that to Governor Bush. Florida? Nope. Lost that one, too.

Second: If the election system HAD worked in Broward and Dade counties is there anyone in the near universe who does not believe Gore would have come down to take credit?

Nor eat escargot, brie, cr�pes, croutons, pate, or anything au gratin, au jus or fricasseed.

Plus �a change, plus c'est la m�me chose.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: A link to that White House review, a translation of the last line, and a pretty good catchy caption of the day.
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Copyright © 2002 Richard A. Galen

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