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Page Ten is Missing
Rich Galen Friday August 12, 2005
On Tuesday afternoon I was standing in the Green Room at CNN next to James Carville waiting to go on the afternoon show with Wolf Blitzer.
Name dropper.
Do you want to hear this story or not?
We were watching coverage of Westchester County prosecutor Jeanine Pirro announcing her decision to run against Hillary Rodham Clinton in the race for US Senate in 2006.
I didn't think reading a speech through the plastic TelePrompTer added much to the notion of joining the race out of a sense of passion and commitment, but maybe it's different in New York. Nevertheless, I said to The James, "You would think someone could memorize a five minute announcement speech."
Sure enough, the next day, at the dramatic height of her remarks, a page in her speech was missing and she was heard to say off mike, "Where's page ten?"
There is an old joke here in Your Nation's Capital about the speech writer who was angry with his boss and so in the manuscript he provided language which said there were THREE ISSUES OF CRUCIAL IMPORTANCE!
At the bottom of the page he had listed crucially important issues numbers one and two, and at the top of the next page he wrote: "All right, you SOB. You're on your own."
I don't blame Ms. Pirro for that gaff. I blame the staff and the environment which we have created around public officials.
In any Green Room in Washington - Fox, CNN, NBC wherever - when even a junior Member of the US House comes in to be on TV he or she will typically be accompanied by two or three staff members.
And these just aren't staff members. Oh, no. Theses are staff members who are important to the security of the US of A. and privy to information which is so vital, that if they told you about it they would have you and everyone on your family tree sent to Gitmo.
Forever.
And, they have THE LOOK. Harried. Serious. Furrowed brows. Furtive whispers. Carrying at least one cell phone and one Blackberry. Clutching Expando-Flex files to their chests to have every fact available to their boss the instant he requests it.
They have private, murmured, discussions with the bookers. They stand in the makeup room to ensure no potions are used to drug their boss, and to ward off any attempt to engage him, what with all the important matters weighing so heavily on his mind, in idle conversation.
Ms. Pirro would have been wise to have sent all her handlers to Buffalo, practiced her speech in front of the mirror until she was comfortable with it, then come out and looked the audience (or at least the television cameras) squarely in the eyes, so she could have at least pretended she was speaking from her heart.
August Headlines We Love to See: In a Wall Street Journal front pager on overdone expense accounts in the haute finance industry, the subhead reads: "FBI to Question Party Dwarf."
It seems that three investment firms threw a big party for some Boston finance guys down in South Beach. According to the WSJ there was the matter of $65,000 for the private jets followed by other "amusements [which] included Danny Black, a hired dwarf whom traders and their friends tossed for entertainment."
There is no mention as to whether Mr. Black, as part of his fee, was taken out to the airport asked to point at the private jets as they approached the runway, if-you-know-what-I-mean-and-I-think-you-do.
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
Many of you have made excellent suggestions as to what should be included in The Book: The Memorial Day, Back-to-School, and Opening Day of Baseball columns as well as the mini-travelogue about paying my car tax seem to be of some interest.
If you have a favorite column or line, send it along. It would save me the time of reading all those back issues.
My lips get so tired.
On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: A link to the Pirro announcement, an amusing Mullfoto and a flashback Catchy Caption of the Day (even though the photo is contemporary).
--END --
Copyright © 2005 Richard A. Galen
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