Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Ironies, Paradoxes, and Mysteries

Rich Galen

Monday July 25, 2005

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All from Merriam-Webster's Third Unabridged.

Irony: A state of affairs or events that is the reverse of what was or was to be expected
Paradox: A statement or sentiment that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet true in fact
Mystery: Something that has not been or cannot be explained

Headline of the weekend:

Drop Reported in Some Levels of Some Harmful Chemicals
By Lisa M. Krieger
[A]ccording to the newest and most comprehensive survey of Americans' exposure to pollutants, a nationwide sampling of bodily fluids shows a decline in the levels of lead, some pesticides, and other chemicals known to be harmful to our health.

Here's the irony: Ms. Krieger writes for the San Jose Mercury News.

What? You don't think that's funny?

OK, try this from the Financial Times: "US boycott Threatens to Split Unions."

This is all about four major unions threatening to boycott the quadrennial AFL-CIO convention which opens in Chicago today.

The unions: The Teamsters, Service Employees International Union, United Food and Commercial Workers, and Unite Here, according to the FT, are boycotting to demand "a federation that spends less money on political campaigns in Washington and more on trying to recruit new members."

Unions boycotting other unions? Is that a paradox or an irony?

Or a mystery?

Dear Mr. Mullings:

Speaking of mysteries, what's the name of that union? "Unite Here?" Are you certain about this?

O, ye of little faith: From the Unite Here website:

On July 8, 2004, the garment, textile and laundry workers union, UNITE, merged with the Hotel Employees and Restaurant Employees and formed UNITE HERE, a union of nearly half a million workers.

Another irony is connected to the nomination of Judge John Roberts for the US Supreme Court. This guy is so likeable, so smart, held in such high regard by Republican and Democratic lawyers in Washington, that his confirmation is a foregone conclusion.

Elizabeth Bumiller, in yesterday's NY Times, led thus:

Ed Gillespie, the White House commando in charge of the selling of Judge John Roberts for a seat on the highest court in the land, was settled into his temporary West Wing office on Friday with a ready army and almost no enemy to fight.
Some war room: The telephones were silent, Fox News was unwatched in a corner, no aides bustled in and out.

What to do, then with the tens of millions of dollars which were raised by the Left and the Right for the Great Supreme Court Fight of 2005?

SIDEBAR

In Washington the Supreme Court is abbreviated as SCOTUS. If there is a worse acronym than SCOTUS (Supreme Court Of The United States), I don't know what it is.
This is in addition to POTUS (President of the United States), FLOTUS (First Lady of the United States) and CONUS (Continental United States).

END SIDEBAR

The huge proportion of the money which was raised was to go for television advertising - millions of dollars in television advertising - advertising which was to be seen by a great proportion of 290 million Americans.

However, only 100 people in the whole country - the members of the United States Senate - actually get to vote on the Roberts nomination (101, if Vice President Cheney has to break a 50-50 tie).

People who produce and place political advertising get a percentage of the money spent. If $10,000 worth of ads is placed on television, someone gets somewhere between five and fifteen percent of that for placing the ads. This is called "a piece of the buy."

But if there is no fight, then there is no need for political advertising. No political advertising, no "piece of the buy." No piece of the buy, no need for all that direct mail and all those phone calls to raise more money.

Civility reigns in Washington.

That's a paradox.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Links to the Labor Union, the Ed Gillispie piece, and an AP summary of the role of 2008 Presidential politics on the Judge Roberts nomination. Also, a Mullfoto and a Catchy Caption of the Day.

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