Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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Helix Hunger

Wednesday, June 28, 2000

The human genome project is nearly complete. Here's the Mullings list of desirable genes:
-- The gene that grows hair on heads, but not in ears;
-- The gene that increases height to something over 5'6";
-- The gene that restores the ability to read anything smaller than the HOLLYWOOD sign without glasses;
-- The gene that permits the consumption of ice cream without purchasing yet another, larger belt; having to increase the dosage of a cholesterol-lowering drug; or, writhing in pain when the cold hits that tooth you meant to have the dentist take care of six months ago but you missed the appointment, not because you were a-scared of the dentist, but because you happened to have gotten really, really busy that very day.

If this were not a family column there would be further genetic alteration requests if you know what I mean and I think you do.

There was just the teensiest bit of irony in Bill Clinton proudly standing up to announce the results of the human genome project. If his DNA on that blue dress hadn't been decoded, Clinton - and his allies - would still be denying any untoward activity between him and you-remember-who.

For a reminder of what that little number looked like, click here:

The two week Prosperity Tour is over for the Gore campaign, and not a minute too soon. It was so bad it should have been named the "Into Thin Air" tour.

As a result of that tour, the CNN/USAToday/Gallup poll showed Gore's numbers DROPPED from minus four (48-44) on June 7 to minus 13 (52-39) now. Only eight percent of those polled were undecided so even if they were all to vote for Gore he would still lose to Bush.

Everyone in Your Nation's Capital has been trying to figure out what effect this fourth call for an independent counsel to investigate Gore for campaign finance violations might have. Here's the answer: That poll shows that 51 percent - 51 percent - think Gore did something illegal or unethical.

Here's what I don't understand. If Attorney General Janet Reno doesn't believe there is any need for an independent counsel, who in the Justice Department keeps assigning these guys to investigate Gore?

Another sign that if this isn't the end of the Gore campaign, you can at least see it from here: President Clinton will hold a press conference to complain about a "do-nothing Congress." This means that Clinton has decided to shift his political focus to the fight for control of Congress. Al? Al who?

More poll stuff: NPR's Mara Liaison reported last night that in a poll to be released today, only 39 percent of Americans give credit for the economy to the Clinton/Gore administration. The rest - over 60 percent - properly give credit to American workers and businesses. I guess we're stupid about the economy.

1.87 trillion - the expected amount of the budget surplus over the next decade - is a number with 10 zeros. Write it out. It's very impressive.

Out of the Loop: How behind the times am I? A thumbnail preview of "Rocky and Bullwinkle" in the NY Post Monday said, "The marketing campaign has failed to fire up interest. Other than Bullwinkle, the movie lacks superstars." The movie, in addition to the moose and the squirrel, stars Jason Alexander, Renee Russo and Robert De Niro. Who qualifies as a superstar, these days?

Maybe John McCain is right: An AP story by Shannan McCaffrey notes the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee started a soft-money account specifically to help Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham. That secret account accepted - then returned - a $16,000 check from an art gallery in New York which is "embroiled in a dispute over Nazi art."

As if that weren't enough, the piece goes on to say the guy who ran the gallery "fled the country to avoid a charge of menacing for allegedly pulling a gun on his wife and her two bodyguards while he was with a nude teen-ager."

Do you see now why these soft-money accounts are so dangerous? The first thing you know you have Nazi-art-selling, posing-with-nude-teenager, gun-wielding, fleeing-the-country, nuts sending checks to support the campaign of Hillary Rodham Clinton Rodham.

-- END --

Copyright © 2000 Richard A. Galen

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