Mullings An American Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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Pop Star, Pin Up � Moron

Wednesday June 24, 2009

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I was never a big fan of Michael Jackson. I don't mean personally. Personally, I think he should have been institutionalized. I mean I was never a huge fan of his music. The last live concert I went to was a reunion of the Limeliters and the Kingston Trio which, I believe, was "Presented by Depends".

Which is another reason why I never get invited out much.

As for Farrah Fawcett, I never watched "Charlie's Angels" but any normally aspirated male couldn't help but take a second peek at that poster of her in that red one-piece swimsuit. She was an oddity in Hollywood: A pin-up girl, who worked on her art to become a real actor.

Ms. Fawcett was 62 when she died. Mr. Jackson was 50. In this day and age, both were too young.

We spend too much time and effort, and sacrifice way too many trees when celebrities die, or when celebrities split up. Or when � they run off to Argentina.

If he hasn't already done it by the time you read this, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford should resign. If not for infidelity, then for abject stupidity.

Here's a good rule: If you are elected Governor of a State within the United States of America, and you are married, you should take a personal vow of faithfulness during your term of office.

If you don't believe me, ask Elliot Spitzer.

I know MULLINGS readers think that Republicans are treated more harshly than Democrats when they get caught with women who are not related to them by marriage. But, Elliot Spitzer - a Democrat - lasted as Governor of New York for about 48 hours after he got caught with a hooker at the Mayflower Hotel in Your Nation's Capital.

Former Senator and Presidential hopeful John Edwards will never be elected to public office again.

South Carolina Govenor Mark Sanford disappeared last week. His staff said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail to clear his head after a grueling legislative session.

Yeah. Right.

Turns out he was clearing his head in Buenos Aires, Argentina with his honey of a number of years. Sanford's wife had already thrown him out of the house because she knew about the affair, and somehow or another Sanford's e-mails with the woman, who has been ID'd as Maria Belen Chapur, are now in the public domain.

Apparently "The State" newspaper in South Carolina has had these e-mails for about six months but the editors decided they couldn't decide whether they were legit or not until Sanford took his viaje secreto to Argentina.

The question you might be asking is: How do these morons think they are going to get away with this kind of behavior?

The answer is: We only know about the ones who get caught. We have no idea how many hundreds of Members of the House and Senate - of both genders - have strayed, as we like to say, outside the bounds of matrimony.

But, if you are an elected official and you do get caught you have to pay a penalty. Spitzer resigned. Sanford should. U.S. Sen. John Ensign of Nevada lost his leadership position in the Senate Republican Conference after he admitted, earlier this week, to boinking a staffer.

If anything good comes out of the Mark Sanford business maybe it will be this: It is well past time that the Republican Party needs to hold itself out as the nation's scold.

While it is perfectly within the realm of politics in American to do the "shame-shame" sign when someone in public office of either party gets caught playing out their fantasies, it is not the job of a political party to act like elders in a Puritan church wielding a birch rod when they catch anyone misbehaving - like nodding off during the sermon.

Missourian Scott Charton, sent me a Facebook message last night which said: Sanford's staff misunderstood the Governor. They thought he said he was hiking the Appalachian Trail. He had said he was tracking some Argentinean tail.

Once an AP bureau chief, always and AP bureau chief.

New Topic:

I found a website named "GoodFoodNearYou.com" which was advertised as being a handy Blackberry site for those who travel a good deal and want to find a decent place to eat.

To test the theory, I went to the website and typed in the ZIP code for Alexandria, Virginia - 22314.

The first Good Food Near You entry was this:

7-Eleven
Healthiest Choice: Jelly Donut
Fat 8g | Calories 210 | Carbs 33g

May want to rethink those search algorithms.

On the Secret Decoder Ring today: Bios of both Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett. A Mullfoto of one of those fish signs on the back of a truck in Alexandria; and the Catchy Caption which is the famous Farrah Fawcett poster.

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