Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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Metaphysics 113

Friday, June 16, 2000

From Billings, Montana
Montana State Republican Convention

The chairman of Gore for President, Tony Coelho, has resigned because his health has declined under the strains and stresses of the campaign and will be replaced, according to published reports, by Commerce Secretary William Daley.

Help me on this: The Gore campaign, already in trouble with, labor unions, has chosen the guy who was the administration's point man on NAFTA and on the China Trade bill. Let's see how AFL-CIO president John Sweeney dodges this one.

In yet another example of truly bad taste, Ron Fournier's AP piece quotes "A senior campaign aide" as saying "Daley was actually Gore's first choice for campaign chairman last year," which is like saying "well, we're sorry Coelho gave up his health for us, but we never really wanted him here anyway."

What a crew.

Friend and former colleague, Bill White, sent along an interesting web page address the other day which is the page of the United States Naval Observatory - the keepers of time for many Americans.

Here's the metaphysical part: Although the web page touts the fact it is the official timekeeper of the nation's military, it contains the following warning: "Because it's buffered by the RealAudio� player, the audio time will be delayed (late) by at least four seconds from when it left the USNO Master Clock time."

I don't think we want the official time to be off by "at least four seconds." Do we?

The other day, in a fairly weak attempt to throw cold water on the plan of George W. to allow a small percentage of social security payments to be invested privately, Al "Who-Knew-People-Would-Trust-Bush-More-Than-Me" Gore said HIS plan was "Social Security plus, not Social Security minus."

Because of Mullings' sophisticated indexing algorithms, that "Social Security plus" business sounded somewhat familiar. An e-mail to the former Speaker of the House confirmed it.

Newt's office fired off a letter to Gore which contained the following:

Dear Mr. Vice President:

"When I saw that you had chosen the exact same name for your plan that I created back in 1998 - Social Security Plus - well, I was very flattered �

"I had no idea when we began this organization that I would one day count the Vice-President amongst my supporters."

As always, Mullings is eager to be of service. For the entire letter, go here:

The leaders of North and South Korea held a fifty-year-overdue reunification meeting this week. Memo to North Korea: Dictator Kim Jong Il will never be accepted into the world community until he (a) loses that Cosmo Kramer hairdo and (b) burns that outfit he bought at the Mao Outlet Center. (//www.mullings.com/dr_06-16-00.htm)

AP Senior Congressional Correspondent, Dave Espo's report that House Republicans are shopping a revamped bill to require disclosure by more groups engaged in influencing political campaigns was greeted "warily" by Senate supporters of a complete overhaul of campaign finance rules.

The McCain-Feingold adherents are on the horns of a dilemma: They want the disclosure - at least for some groups - but they don't want the public to believe the problem has been ameliorated.

Here is the official Mullings position: Any group engaging in lobbying or trying to influence the outcome of campaigns, which accepts a tax exempt status - like Common Cause - should be forced to disclose its sources and uses of funds.

This is what the Senate considers to be a "fitting tribute" to a retiring Senator. Frank Lautenberg Democrat of New Jersey is leaving the Senate after this year. The honor? The Secaucus Transfer Station, a transit hub under construction in Northern New Jersey will be known, if the House follows suit, as the Frank Lautenberg Secaucus Transfer Station. What, do you suppose, was second prize?

A number of readers have asked about the answers to last Friday's test. I don't know. If you didn't get an invite to the group house at the beach this weekend, why not take a stab and send along your answers?

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Copyright © 2000 Richard A. Galen

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