Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Desultory Friday

Rich Galen

Friday June 10, 2005

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There are a number things which interest me as we begin "Summer Hours" at Mullings Central.

There is the matter of John Kerry's college transcript which shows he was about as good a student as � I was, having received far more Ds than As. Regular readers are all too familiar with my 7� year undergraduate career at Marietta College, Marietta, Ohio, 45750.

Unlike Propeller-Head Kerry, I never pretended to a scholar, a classicist, a student of philosophy or deep thinker beyond my sincere believe that "The Catcher in the Rye" is one of the greatest books of all time if only because it was the first book freely available in bookstores and libraries in spite of its use of the "F" bomb, "F" being another grade with which I had more than a passing acquaintance.

A Chicago Tribune editorial stated:

In 1999, The New Yorker magazine published a transcript [showing] Bush received one ``D'' in his four years, a 69 in astronomy; his highest grades were 88s in anthropology, history and philosophy.

According to the Boston Globe, Kerry received four times the number of Ds in his freshman year alone - one each in geology, and political science and two in history classes.

If I have read this correctly, Kerry appears to have refused to release his Navy records not because of medical data which might have supported the Swiftboat Veterans claim that some or all of Kerry's injuries were minor, but because they contained an official record of his barely mediocre grades.

Kerry could have chopped the Swiftboat Veterans advertising and word-of-mouth campaign off at the knees at any point by releasing these records, but he was more concerned that he would lose his standing as the intellectually superior candidate in the race than in responding to the attacks.

Senator Kerry is one of those people who is more concerned about how he looks while doing his job, than he is in the job he is doing. A clear majority of American voters understood that.

Kerry, was in the words of Willy-boy Shakespeare, "Hoist on his own petar'."

New Topic. The latest adventures of the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee: How-Weird Dean.

Dr. Dean, of the Dean Scream Machine first unveiled in Iowa a couple of years ago, can't seem to get the message - any message - straight. He described the GOP in a speech the other day as "pretty much a white, Christian party."

That remark cause Democrats to run away faster than they did the day that Cessna flew into restricted air space. Senior Democrat after senior Democrat said that Dean didn't speak for them or is "not the spokesman for the Democratic Party."

Memo to Democrats: Yes he is. Dean was elected chairman of the only National Democratic Committee there is in this country, so what he says he says on behalf of and has to be held accountable by the DNC.

Republican National Committee Chairman Ken Mehlman said in response to the White Christian thing, "A lot of folks who attended my Bar Mitzvah would be surprised" to hear this.

Finally, there is a hand-out newspaper here in Your Nation's Capital called the Washington Post Express. It is a tabloid-sized summary of what is in the broadsheet-sized Post.

The editing leaves a little something to be desired:

For instance, this headline: "Bush Appears Open to Shutting � Gitmo Camp."
The Express says a new restaurant named Sonoma "brings fine dining to a section of Capitol Hill�" Without any sense of irony it lists as one of the "fine dining" selections: Salami.
In an item about a guy who was bitten by a shark, this: "�experts believe a small great white might be responsible�"

A "small great white" is the oxymoronic equivalent of a jumbo shrimp, or having a passing acquaintance with the grade of "F."

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Links to the Boston Globe piece, the definition of "desultory," the whole "hoist on his own petard" thing, a nice Mullfoto and a Catchy Caption the Day which will make you absolutely crazy

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