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It's America's Fault. Again
Rich Galen Wednesday June 01, 2005
Ok. I have figured out the French. I may the first person in the history of the post-Pleistocene epoch to claim this, but I am nothing if not confident in my opinions.
While the rest of the planet has spent many millions of gallons of ink and even more millions of dead trees in the form of newsprint trying to understand why French political leaders act like � French political leaders, the average let-your-dog-poop-on-the-sidewalk French man or woman couldn't care less. In fact, their entire political system is designed so that they never have to care.
In the United States we spend months years arguing, bickering, fighting, demonstrating, and generally doing anything which will get us (a) on CNN between seven and eight PM, or (b) in the Today Show window between seven and eight AM.
The French have reached a level of political sophistication which, when we analyze it, takes our breath away because it makes Einstein's theories look like second grade arithmetic in comparison.
So long as the average French citizen retains the right to: work 25 hours per week (and be paid a full week's wages), have six weeks of vacation a year, strike for the entire month of August, and retire at the age of 32 he or she will remain perfectly content no matter how embarrassing their leaders.
In fact, by continuing to elect the Goofball du Jour to high positions, they are free to completely ignore their government. After all, who in their right mind would pay attention to what someone like Jacques Chirac has to say?
Americans, on the other hand, get into high dudgeon every time one of our leaders has sex in the Oval Office.
I mean � really.
As predicted here (and everywhere else in the near Solar System) the good people of France rejected a referendum on a new constitution for the European Union, a referendum which had been ardently supported by the Chirac government. This is widely seen as a devastating defeat for Chirac [pause for wild cheering �].
Chirac, following a long tradition of French leaders not taking responsibility for anything, blamed the rout on his prime minister, so he fired him and appointed a new one.
The new prime minister is none other than our oldest and dearest friend and ally, former French foreign minister, Dominique de Villepin which will be great news for the women in the city room at the New York Times, most of whom go weak in the knees at the very thought of him.
M. de Villepin, you might remember, was the guy who lied to then Secretary of State Colin Powell about France's support of the US/British Iraq policy.
In January, 2003 de Villepin told Powell that the French would posture and complain but would, in the end, support the US at the United Nations on Iraq.
While Secretary Powell was waiting for his pal de Villepin to join him for lunch, de Villepin was at the UN holding a press conference and saying some very awful things about the US.
M. de Villepin (I have to start sentences with the abbreviation for Monsieur because I don't know how to deal with a lower-case "de" in that position) was the Interior Minister of France. Unlike the US where the Secretary of Interior has responsibility for monuments and geysers, in most countries - France included - the Interior Ministry controls the national police.
The Euro - the currency of Europe which has been about at parity with the US Dollar - took a dive after the results of the election and ended the day yesterday worth about 81 cents.
I guarantee you that by the end of this week de Villepin will lay the loss of the EU constitution and the devaluation of the Euro at the feet of the Administration of George W. Bush.
Here's where the French and Americans will be on the same page: Neither of us will care.
On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: A link to the duplicity of de Villepin during January 2003; a short explanation of the Pleistocene epoch; a pretty good Mullfoto from California over the weekend, and a Catchy Caption of the Day.
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Copyright © 2005 Richard A. Galen
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