Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered

Rich Galen

Wednesday May 11, 2005

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The cable television network "TV Land" has started commissioning statues of some of the television stars of (as the Lone Ranger announcer used to say) yesteryear. A Washington Post piece by reporter David Segal brings to light a simmering controversy which has resulted from this seemingly harmless PR ploy.

A statue of Jackie Gleason as bus driver Ralph Kramden of The Honeymooners is located at the Port Authority (or, as my mother insists upon calling it, the Port of Authority) bus terminal at 8th Avenue and West 41st Street.

Another honoring Andy Griffith and Ron Howard as Sheriff Andy Taylor and his son Opie has been erected near the statehouse in Raleigh, North Carolina.

However, the TV Land folks have run afoul of the high-concept comedy aficionados of Salem, Massachusetts. It seems the television moguls have commissioned a statue of Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha Stephens in Bewitched to be placed in the town square.

According to Segal's reporting, at least one "former member of the Salem Historic District Commission" sniffed, "Putting this statue in the park near the church where this all happened, it trivializes the execution of 19 people."

In 1692.

When the people of Salem apparently had a better sense of humor.

It is not like Salem has banned all mentions of witches and trials and such. In fact, the official patch of the Salem Police Department (which you can see on the Mullings Secret Decoder Ring page features a witch, complete with one of those hats that they wear, riding a broom into a crescent moon. Not enough? The official slogan of Salem is: "The Witch City."

While that bit of drama was taking place in New England, the witch hunt against John Bolton's confirmation for US representative to the United Nations continues with the Senate Foreign Relations Committee vote scheduled for Thursday.

Three of the Republicans on the Committee: Chuck Hagel (R-Neb), Lincoln Chafee (R-RI) and George V. Voinovich of (R-Oh) are the targets of heavy lobbying by Senate Dems and the Bush Admininstration.

In a longish piece in the LA Times, reporter Mary Curtius makes the excellent point that of the three, Hagel - who makes his living channeling Arizona Senator John McCain - wants to run for President.

Yeah. If he votes against Bolton he'll have the opportunity to run for President � in France.

While the current focus is on the three Foreign Relations Committee Republicans, the scene will soon shift to the 45 Senate Democrats when the Bolton nomination comes to the floor.

With all the projectile sweat being exhibited over the issue of filibustering judges, one suspects that Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev) will be under considerable pressure from his pals in the MoveOn.org wing of the Democratic Party to put up a fight on the Senate floor over Bolton.

After his low class bombast (calling President Bush a "loser," and calling Alan Greenspan "one of the biggest political hacks in Washington") it will be interesting to see if Reid, as the saying goes, can walk the walk.

SIDEBAR:

Harry Reid has all the personality and complexity of a piece of plywood. Long-time Hill reporter Laurie Kellman, in her AP piece, quotes a staffer saying Reid "has a very dry wit."
Ah, yes. Harry Reid. Triple Sec Wit. Made me forget about W.C. Fields, altogether.
Dry wit. Reid thought the "loser" crack was so side-splittingly amusing that he phoned Karl Rove - long distance - and asked Rove to pass his apology along to the President.
That probably did make the White House staff laugh out loud.

END SIDEBAR

The national press corps should ask every Democratic Senator whether he or she believes John Bolton should be confirmed. If not, they should be asked if they intend to participate in a filibuster on the subject, or whether they will just roll over.

If the Democrats want to stop President Bush's nominations, it will take more than a crossing of their arms, a nod of their heads, and a bewitching blink of their eyes.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Lot's 'O Links. The WashPost Salem business, the LA Times discussion of the three Republicans, and the AP examination of Harry Reid's verbal tics.

Also, a barely amusing (except to Harry Reid's staff which will fall over with laughter) Mullfoto and a Catchy Caption of the Day.

Oh! And the Salem PD sleeve patch!

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