Stand Up for Northwest
Wednesday April 26, 2006
Click here for an Easy Print Version
Regular Mullsters are aware that I consider Northwest to be the France of the airline industry. Mention Northwest to anyone who travels a good deal and they will automatically use the words surly, rude or - if they majored in English Lit. - churlish.
Last month I wrote a piece about how Northwest had begun to charge an extra $15 for aisle and exit row seats (Oxygen Mask? $25, Please).
Within a month, USA Today reported:
Northwest Airlines' most loyal customers no longer must pay $15 to secure a seat with extra legroom. The change gives its most frequent fliers access to those seats without paying the fee.
But wait! Here's a new money-making opportunity for Northwest! The New York Times reported yesterday that Airbus has developed a system which would allow airlines to sell standing-room "seats."
Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to experts who have seen a proposal.
Now we're talkin'! Standing-room "seats."
SIDEBAR
Airlines have developed a language which no one else uses, like:
- instructions to turn your cell phone to the "off position" instead of just "off," and
- reminding you that if you sit in an exit row (whether or not you've paid the $15 fee) you have to be able to follow crew instructions without "being distracted by other attentions," and
- thanking you for your "continued patience" immediately upon telling you your flight will be delayed for two hours and 15 minutes.
END SIDEBAR
According to the Times, "Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness."
Where do you think they tested this, Abu Ghraib?
Talk, terrorist dog, or you'll stand all the way from Detroit to Tokyo.
Aiieeeee! Give me seat! I tell you everything!
Northwest, being the entrepreneurial devils they are, could add to their revenue stream by offering floor pads and sneakers at a reasonable price for those "propped against a padded backboard and held in place with a harness."
Short flight? $15 for the pad and sneaks. Transcontinental flight? $75.
NEW TOPIC
On the panic in the streets about $3.00 gasoline:
First of all, the Democrats wailing and whining about the high prices have forgotten they are supposed to be friends of the Greens.
Higher gas prices. Less driving. Less driving. Less greenhouse gasses.
Why isn't Nancy Pelosi cheering high gasoline prices?
When I was in Paris a few weeks ago, I noted gasoline was 2.55 Euros per Liter.
Tell me if I did this right:
There are 3.78 Liters per gallon
2.55 Euros equals $3.17
$3.17 x 3.78 = $11.98 per gallon.
I am in New York as I type this, so I went to a local grocery store and bought a bottle of water. 99 cents. 16.9 fluid ounces.
For those who slept through this in third grade, there are 128 ounces to the gallon. 99 cents for 16.9 ounces = $7.50 per gallon.
For water.
Get me Nancy Pelosi on the phone.
LAST TOPIC
And this will be the list time I do this. As of last night, the Marines of Companies A, E, G, and H, Marine Security Guard Battalion - who had a goal of about $3,500 when this started - have now exceeded their most recent goal of $30,000.
A good deal of that money was raised by Mullsters. Thank you.
On a the Secret Decoder Ring page today: That link to the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund plus; One of those very popular license plate Mullfotos, a photo of the Standing-room-only "seats", a link to the NY Times article ABOUT the Standing-room-only "seats" and a Catchy Caption of the day.
--END --
Copyright © 2006 Richard A. Galen
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