The Iced Tea Defense
Monday, March 13, 2000
Vice President Al "I-have-to-go-a-lot" Gore has decided upon the famous Iced Tea defense to explain how it was he didn't know anything about the Buddhist Temple scam. He is suggesting that, inasmuch as he had consumed a great deal of iced tea during the meeting at which it was discussed, the more illegal aspects of the visit must have been decided upon when he had left the room to, well, you know.
That means Mr. Gore is (a) willing to blame the whole thing on those whose bodily functions allowed them to remain IN the meeting, such as White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta; and (b) will ask us to ignore the photographic evidence of him sitting in the meeting studying documents.
Acting President of Russia, Vladimir Putin, used to be a spy for the KGB. You don't think the Russians - right this very second - are working on an additive to tea which increases its diuretic action? If Gore becomes President expect a new meaning for the phrase, "Tea Break" at summit meetings.
Remember last month when George W. Bush went to Bob Jones University and was forced to take responsibility for everything that anyone named "Jones" had ever said on any subject? The other day Vice President Al Gore visited with Governor Jesse Ventura, apparently to bolster the Gore campaign's claim to the Campaign Finance Reformer mantle. Ventura, last year, said in an interview in Playboy magazine: "Organized religion is a sham and a crutch for weak-minded people who need strength in numbers."
Will Al Gore have to answer for that? No? OK. How about this: Gore has also been cozying up to Al Sharpton who was described by the DEMOCRATIC Comptroller of New York City, Alan Hevesi thus: "The Rev. Al Sharpton has developed some kind of relationship with both Louis Farrakhan and Leonard Jeffries. He's apparently willing to tolerate their anti-Semitism, anti-Catholicism and homophobia." Jeffries, according to Herb Boyd writing in "The Black World Today", is a professor at City College in Manhattan who "was the center of a maelstrom several years ago with his claim that Jews played a prominent role in the Atlantic slave trade."
I don't believe for one second that Al Gore is anti-Semitic, anti-Christian, anti-gay or anti-any other group for that matter. I don't believe Governor Bush is, either. The constant Democratic anti-Bush chant: "he went to Bob Jones University" should not go unchallenged by the national press corps without the chanter being asked about Gore's relationship with Ventura and Sharpton. Let's all practice holding our breath.
With gasoline prices heading higher, the Clinton/Gore administration's lead dog is Energy Secretary Bill Richardson. He has, apparently, been to the Middle East at least twice to try and convince the OPEC nations and their allies to increase production. Here's how we will know if they have decided to do that: Al Gore will lead the delegation overseas to attend the meeting at which the new policy is announced.
AP Lead: "Scientists have discovered the bones of what could be largest meat-eating dinosaur ever to walk the Earth - a needle-nosed, razor-toothed beast that may have been more terrifying than even the Tyrannosaurus rex." Scientists have not released the name they have decided to give this animal pending publication of their findings. I have a suggestion: James Carvilleasaurus.
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