EMBARGOED for release until delivery at the Chaves County Lincoln Day Dinner

Note: Mr. Galen very frequently deviates from the prepared text which he doesn't, very frequently, even have.

Thank you. Thank you for inviting me.

The other day - Wednesday - I had the opportunity to have lunch in the White House Mess. The White House Mess is, as you may know, run by the Navy. When you get there a Navy Steward greets you and welcomes you and it's all very nice and very, very cool.

The menu is similar to any decent in-the-courthouse-square restaurant located in almost every community across America. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich on white toast which, the Navy Steward allowed, was a good choice.

I asked (as I don't expect to be back there any time soon) if I could take a peek at the kitchen and maybe even drop the bread into the toaster.

The Steward told me that would, unfortunately, not be possible for safety reasons: There are electric ranges, microwave ovens � toasters (he said slowly and with emphasis) � and implements of destruction like sharp knives just about everywhere and they wouldn't want to risk damage to personnel or equipment.

"However," he said, "if you would like to drive a nuclear attack submarine, that could easily be arranged."

[Pause for knowing laughter]

I told him that would be fine, except I had to come here to Roswell, New Mexico to give this speech.

He brightened and said, "Better yet. We can put you into the cockpit of an Avenger."

[Pause for the knowing laughter of real insiders to the joke]

He told me the pilot would meet me here.

[Put on that computer goggle thing that you bought for $300 (which you might not have actually TOLD the Mullings Director of Standards and Practices about and it's a good thing you're two time zones away as she reads this) so you can walk around Mullings Central like an idiot watching TV "which appears before you like a 60-inch screen floating in the air" (in spite of the fact that you HAVE a large screen TV) and schlepped two-thirds of the way across the continent for just this purpose but it will look like some alien-detection device and it will be very funny � and begin slowly scanning the room to laughter]

Flight 19.

[Complete scanning as the laughter builds]

Oh, HERE'S a news flash: He's late.

[Remove computer goggle thing to uproarious, thigh-slapping, eye-wiping laughter and applause]

END EMBARGOED MATERIAL

Hey! Here's something interesting. Microsoft Word's spelling checker changed "shlepped" to "schlepped." You think Bill Gates is a landsmann? Yeah. And I'm the King of Utah.

Back to the future. After, no doubt, polling the devil out of it; House and Senate Democratic Leaders, Dick Gephardt and Tom Daschle began their counter-assault against the President's $1.6 trillion tax cut by calling it a "risky gamble."

Don't you just know that the pollsters and the leadership had a conversation which went something like this: "the word 'risky' polls well, so let's stick with that. But we tried 'venture', 'scheme', 'plot', and 'gamble'. 'Gamble' seems to give us some traction, but 'scheme' is a loser - big time."

Remember all these plans phase in over 10 years. Just to remember what can happen in 10 years; 10 years ago the Dow Jones Industrial Average broke through the 3,000 mark for the first time (4/17/91). It opens this morning at 10,891 and change.

20 years ago the Nasdaq Average - didn't exist. It appears that the first day of reporting for the Nasdaq Average was on October 11, 1984. It closed at 244.70. The Nasdaq opens this morning at 2552.91.

On this business of having some sort of "circuit breakers" in the tax cut - which would stop the phase in of the cuts if the economy falters - is backwards. There ought to be "circuit breakers" which accelerate the phase-in if the economy gets stronger. It indicates what happens when you spend too much time in Your Nation's Capital: You have a burning desire to make it HARDER to CUT taxes and EASIER to RAISE them.

-- END --
Copyright © 2001 Richard A. Galen