|
|
|
Become a
Paid Mullings Subscriber!
(To join the FREE mailing list or to unsubscribe Click Here)
Pity the Poor Plumber
Rich Galen Friday February 11, 2005
Let's begin by agreeing there is a lot of important stuff going on in the world right now.
Tomorrow, for instance, the Democrats are likely to elect Howard Dean to be the Chairman of the Democratic National Committee thereby officially kicking off the 2008 Presidential campaign.
North Korea has announced it has nukes now, and has had nukes since 1027 way, WAY before the United States was even a gleam in King George III's eye, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.
Iraqis are about to announce the results of the elections which were held on January 30.
SIDEBAR
The more-or-less official results in Iraq will not have been known for the better part of two weeks.
In America, we are so impatient to get election results, that the major news organizations pay to hire pollsters who will tell us who won even before the election has been held.
What's the hurry?
END SIDEBAR
And Prince Charles is getting married.
But none of that is important in the capitol of the Commonwealth of Virginia, Richmond. A delegate from the southern portion of the state introduced legislation which makes it a crime to wear clothing which is, according to the Washington Post, "low enough that a substantial portion of undergarments is showing."
The delegate was from Norfolk, Virginia - the home of the Christian Broadcasting Network. But this was not some fundamentalist right-wing Republican.
It was a Democrat.
The notion of worrying whether some kid is wearing his jeans down around his thighs would not seem to be worthy of the same assembly which produced Patrick Henry.
Although, "Give me underwear or give me death" does have a certain cadence.
The bill passed the House by the razor thin margin of 60-34. Sixty delegates thought it was a swell idea to pin a $50 fine for droopy drawers.
Ok, let's see where this leads us.
First of all, next time you drop your wedding ring down the kitchen sink drain your first call should not be to Drain-Traps-R-Us. It should be to your lawyer because anyone who has ever had the pleasure of watching a professional plumber crawl under you kitchen sink knows he will be in violation of this law.
Way, WAY in violation.
Second: Even though The Lad is now deep into his twenties, I can still remember being occasionally lax in my diaper changing chores. A wet diaper - I guarantee you - will be in violation of this law.
Third: What if teenagers, in an effort to thwart the boxer cops, stop wearing underwear at all?
Once in Florida, I was turned away from a restaurant at dinner time because I was wearing shorts. I suggested to the hostess that, if my shorts were offensive, I would take them off. She was not amused. And I was not seated.
If that delegate had been in office during the Neru jacket craze. Or the John Travolta Saturday Night Fever craze. Or even the tie-dyed, bell-bottom hippie phase, I might have supported him.
But in 2005 one would think there were more important issues for Virginia delegates to be concerned about. Like the profusion of colored plastic wrist bands. Now, THAT's something which should be regulated.
New Topic.
Last night I was honored, along with Abdu Alkesbsi, of the National Endowment for Democracy, for being the one of the first two "Citizen Diplomats" in the service of the Republic. Last autumn, Abdu and I were sent out to spread the gospel of democracy in France, Italy and Spain.
The event was held at the State Department in the Benjamin Franklin room. Ben Franklin having been, in effect, the first citizen diplomat. We received very wonderful plaques and the applause of the 400-or-so people in attendance.
We were not asked to speak which was unfortunate, because I had a dandy speech prepared which I share it with you here in its entirety:
"When you consider that the line of American Citizen Diplomats extends from Ben Franklin to Rich Galen you can come to only one conclusion:
"Darwin was wrong."
On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: A photo of me with my Cit. Dip. plaque and a fairly mindless Catchy Caption of the Day.
--END --
Copyright © 2005 Richard A. Galen
Current Issue |
Secret Decoder
Ring | Past
Issues | Email
Rich | Rich
Who?
Copyright �2002 Richard
A. Galen | Site design by Campaign
Solutions. | |
|
� 
