Mullings A Political Cyber Column By Rich Galen

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Friday, January 26, 2001

News Flash: James C. Hormel, of the Hormel meat family, who became the nation's first openly gay ambassador, is urging the Senate to reject John Ashcroft's nomination to be attorney general. Reality Check: No one cares.

First of all, Hormel was made an ambassador by Bill Clinton in a recess appointment which is permitted by the U.S. Constitution in Article II, Section 2: "The President shall have power to fill up all vacancies that may happen during the recess of the Senate, by granting commissions which shall expire at the end of their next session."

Hormel was not named Ambassador to France. Or England. Or even Chad. He was made the Ambassador to Luxembourg which is not even a real country but which is a Duchy (albeit a GRAND Duchy).

The ruler is Grand Duke Jean. That's like being led by some guy named President Bill. Oh. Wait.

The CIA (The Central Intelligence Agency, not the Culinary Institute of America) lists Luxembourg in its "World Factbook" as having a land area of 2,586 sq km which, the CIA says, is "slightly smaller than Rhode Island."

The population of Luxembourg is 437,389 Luxembourgers. As a comparison, the population of North Dakota is 633,666.

So, James Hormel was an ambassador to a country which is smaller than Rhode Island and has a population only two-thirds the size of North Dakota.

Luxembourg, in the Diplomatic Delicatessen, is a slice of Spam on the filet mignon shelf.

Kelly Ann Fitzpatrick and Mullings went up against Al Sharpton, Paul Begala and Mr. Rivera on "Geraldo" last night. The discussion moved to the tasteless gift grab of furniture, silverware and china by The MSS Hillary to furnish her new mansion in Northwest Washington.

Kelly Ann got off the best line: "They got all that money FROM China during the 1996 re-election campaign. Why should we be surprised if they get all that money FOR china now?"

President Bush lent the plane used as Air Force One to the Clintons to take their senior staff, friends and supporters to New York with them, last Saturday. On the way, someone made off with some glassware, towels, and other assorted goodies from the airplane.

By the time that story made the rounds in Your Nation's Capital, they had made off with all the dishes, all the silverware, all the cups and saucers, the co-pilot's steering wheel, the aft loading door, and the port outboard engine.

Hypocrisy Alert: From the Associated Press: "This spring � former vice president [Al Gore] takes on teaching duties at Columbia University's Graduate School of Journalism - a graduate-level class on "Covering National Affairs in the Information Age."

Mr. Gore, we should remember, went months last year without allowing the press corps to question him, hiding behind a phalanx of Secret Service agents and political body blockers. A Mullings flashback by Kit Seelye of the NY Times:

"Romulus, Mich., April 21 -- After two months of keeping his distance from the journalists who travel with him, Vice President Al Gore held his first news conference in this auto city 30 miles from Detroit.

"The fact that he held a news conference at all, speaking for 23 minutes, seemed more noteworthy than what he said."

Missourians are celebrating the results of three special elections which gave the GOP control of the State Senate for the first time since 1948. This is being seen as a failure for Dick Gephardt who invested heavily in time and political capital to keep the Senate in Democratic hands. Redistricting. Redistricting. Redistricting.

During the period that the Director of Standards and Practices and others were toiling at the Inaugural Committee, Mullings World H.Q. was pretty much abandoned. An amaryllis plant, as an example, was left to fend for itself.

That plant is now - this is true - nearly four feet tall and, when I tried to move it, informed me in no uncertain terms that it LIKED being near the window, thank you very much; and that I should call it "Audrey" from now on.
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Copyright © 2001 Richard A. Galen

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