Loose in the Louvre
Loose in the Louvre.
The Louvre is, according to one guide book I read, the second-most visited museum in Europe. The first is the Vatican.
Here's the thing about guide books - of which I bought three prior to this trip: They are only useful after (a) you return from a place or (b) if you are going to return to a place.
Reading a guide book about a place before you've gone there is useless. You can't understand anything. After you get back you can read them and say, "Oh, yeah. I saw that."
So. I arrived at the Louvre on the Metro unscathed and without having had my pocket picked.
The exit I used from the Metro (the word for exit in French is: "sortie" which leads to the obvious question as to how that became the word for flying large aircraft over long distances to drop huge bombs on desolate landscape.
Where was I? Oh, yes the Sortie I used brought me into the Louvre at an underground mall. Many expensive shops were available to the witless. I had been wanting to purchase a scarf - not a woosy silk thing, but a manly woolen number. I stopped into one of the shops which had a selection on a display just inside the door.
The store was named "The Tie Rack." The scarf was made in Scotland.
I was not going to purchase a scarf in the Louvre which was made in Scotland from a Tie Rack.
I walked into the welcome area which is beneath this pyramid:
This pyramid was designed by the famous architect I.M. Pei and everyone has convinced themselves that this pyramid is not jarring to the senses in the middle of the courtyard of a series of buildings which were the home of the French Crown prior to the completion of Versailles.
In this main entryway there are brochures in many languages, one of which was English. There is a charge for the Louvre (except for the first Sunday of the month but even I wouldn't plan a trip all the way to Paris to take advantage of "Free Day at the Louvre."
Well, maybe I would.
Anyway the charge is 49FF which is about seven bucks. As a denizen of the Smithsonian Institution museums in Your Nation's Capital - all of which are free - I was a bit put off by having to pay, but as I was in Paris and underneath the Pei Pyramid ... I gave them some money and they give me some money back along with a ticket.
The Louvre also has another neat thing of which I did avail myself but I would if I every go back. For 33 Francs you can rent a device which looks like a CD player with earphones which tells you about a couple of paintings in each hall. Near selected paintings is a four digit number. You punch in that number, and a voice explains what you are looking at.
Without this you will very soon tire of looking at paintings of old guys in funny outfits. Trust me on this. You will very soon tire.
You know how all those old paintings seem like you are viewing them through soot? You are. The varnish (or whatever it is) on those paintings has faded over the 8 million years since they were painted. Some paintings have been restored. The colors on the restored paintings are so vivid they look like cartoons after gallery-after-gallery-after-gallery of very dark paintings.
Here's an example of a typical painting:
which, as it happens is a painting by none other than Leonardo di Caprio - no, Leonardo da Vinci, "Sainte Jean-Baptist Baccus (1510-1515). So this painting is, literally, 500 years old and looks every day of it.
Compare and contrast that painting with this one:
which by Domenico Ghirlandaio of Florence "La Visitation" 1491. Also about 500 years old but looks like it was painted last year.
By the way, all the photos in this epic were taken on my new anniversary-birthday-Christmas present a Canon Powershot S300 digital camera. I didn't take any pictures for the first 17 miles of my trek through the Louvre because I didn't think it was allowed. I found out that photography is allowed but sans (that means "without" to those of us who have a working knowledge of French) sans flash.
My little digital camera does a pretty good job in available light, I think. Notwithstanding the rule, I saw a lot of people taking pictures with flash bulbs a-poppin' (which is how we say it in Texas. Wanna make something of it?)
Without being in the company of an art history major, these paintings all look alike after about 20 minutes.
There are a couple of crowd pleasers at the Louvre you have to see.
One of which is, of course, La Jaconde. What, you ask, is so special about La Jaconde? You uncouth beast. You reader of Mad Magazine in high school art class. You, you ... ok. It's the French name for the Mona Lisa.
There is a certain amount of marketing attached to getting to the Mona Lisa. It's way the heck on the other side of the museum. You have to walk through all kinds of not-very-well known epochs, eras, schools, countries, and other stuff to get there. You have to, as an example, walk the entire length of this hall:
It is longer than it looks here.
When you get to the hall with the Mona Lisa you expect that it will be draped in royal blue velvet. You expect it will be guarded by stern looking guards. You expect there will be a line of people a half-block long waiting for their 10 second view of the portrait.
None of this is true.
The painting is in the middle of a wooden wall painted boat-dock green:
This is how the French display what is arguably the most famous painting on the face of the planet. That crowd is ... the crowd.
The painting is behind thick glass which, because Mona has not been restored, only adds to the drabness of the experience.
It is a little blurry because of the available light issue, but that's about it.
A truly impressive piece of art is the statue of Venus di Milo which, from now on, I will only pronounce "Vay-noos Dee Mee-loh," much as my new affectation for only saying "Ahf-GHAN-ee-stahn."
I include it here only because I found it and want to prove it.
A wonderful surprise was a statue of the Mullings Director of Standards and Practices which was sculpted by
Ménade during the "imperial Roman epoch" whenever that was.
Its real title is "Baccante" but she looks just
like the MDofS&P.
And that concludes my trip to the Louvre.
Continued.
Next: Dinner with friends and the trip home.