Here's everything you need to know about Helena, Montana: It was chosen the Territorial Capital because they cheated in the election; It was founded by four Georgians; Lewis and Clark went through there on their way to the Pacific Ocean.

However �


They were very nice to me:

On the Lewis & Clark thing, I mentioned during my speech that I didn't understand all the hoo-hah. As far as I could tell they had come through Helena on their way West. One of them had come back through on their way back East. The end.

I asked the audience if I had missed something. If they had stayed for a couple of years. If they had stayed a couple of months. If they had fathered a couple of kids, maybe.

Nothing.

The major attraction downtown is the "walking mall" which is also known as "Last Chance Gulch." Truly. Shops and offices along the walking mall have addresses like "20 S. Last Chance Gulch."

LCG was the place with at least one of the Georgians first discovered gold leading to the gold rush, leading to the boom town, leading to the voting, er, irregularities.

But Last Chance Gulch is pretty cool. There are stone buildings designed and built during the rush days.

There are sculptures:

AND, the day I was there, a dog sled race was scheduled.

It is the "Race to the Sky" dog sled race which starts in Helena, and goes for 350 miles to � someplace else. Oh. Here it is: "End of Race Thursday, February 14 at Hi-Country Beef Jerky, Lincoln."

It is a little difficult to take this seriously as (1) I am next going to Alaska where the Ididarod is held, and (2) They only pretend to start the race here. There is no snow here, so they go through a whole rigamarole then pack everyone up and ship them to another place where they actually start the race then go from there.

Maybe I was hanging around the wrong crowd, but I didn't hear anyone arguing with their spouse over whether they were going to watch the Women's Halfpipe or run on up to the 7-Up Ranch in Lincoln, MT for the real start.

Oh. Here it is: "End of Race Thursday, February 14 at Hi-Country Beef Jerky, Lincoln."

Wait a minute. I wonder if Beef Jerky is like Hershey, Pennsylvania? Nah.

Note, please the sunglasses - on the dog. This was one of the rare instances of the dog looking happier than the human around this race thing.

The Helena people, however, were very nice. You saw the picture of me with Senator Conrad Burns at the actual dinner. He didn't recoil in horror when he found out we were to be seated together, but maybe he wasn't that familiar with who I was.

The flight to Anchorage was uneventful, but long. Including the layover in Salt Lake City, it took about three-and-a-half months.

The airport in Salt Lake City was much more crowded than it was when I had come through on the afternoon of the opening ceremonies. The Delta Crown Room was jammed with people who were bailing out of the Olympics. I had to write Monday's column, so I found a chair in the room that has the pay-fax machine.

I unplugged the phone cord from the back and happily did my stuff. No one came in trying to spend $375 to send an oh-so-important fax, so I didn't inconvenience anyone.

The flight from SLC to Anchorage is about 4:30. The airplane was a 767-300. We had a movie - a pretty good flick with the Hannibal Lecter guy.

Here's what the airplane didn't have: An in-seat power adapter. Again. Every plane I have ever been on did not have an in-seat power adapter. Except one: The flight last year from Bombay to Frankfort. But, in that case, I had lost the tip of my in-seat-power-adapter-connector-device so it was useless to me.

This is short (and not very amusing) because I have to dress for my speech tonight here in Juneau. More about that, next time.

NEXT: Why is it called: Baked Alaska?