Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Theresa Heinz kerry's World

Rich Galen

Friday October 22, 2004

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This is the portion of the Theresa Heinz kerry interview in USA Today which has caused no small amount of stomach acid in Kerry-ville:

Q: You'd be different from Laura Bush?
A: Well, you know, I don't know Laura Bush. But she seems to be calm, and she has a sparkle in her eye, which is good. But I don't know that she's ever had a real job - I mean, since she's been grown up.

A bit of American literary lore has F. Scott Fitzgerald telling Ernest Hemingway, "Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me." To which Hemingway is supposed to have responded, "Yes, they are different. They have more money."

But Papa Hemingway missed the essential point of what Fitzgerald was saying. The real difference between the very rich is that money has no meaning in their day-to-day lives.

Thus, when Theresa Heinz kerry said that Mrs. Bush has never had a real job, she was speaking on behalf of the Beacon Hill/Upper West Side rich people who truly believe that running a foundation which sponsors black-tie dinners with other rich people so they can generate tax-deductible money to give away to poor people is a real job.

These are people who never worry about how they will pay for the airline ticket to get grandma to their house for Christmas because there are not that many Christmases left for grandma and the grandchildren to get together.

The very rich just send the plane.

These are people who never worry about getting the kids up in time to catch the school bus.

The very rich send their kids to boarding school.

Nor do they worry about ferrying them to soccer/swimming/baseball/softball/hockey or whatever practice much less how to pay for uniforms or equipment.

The very rich have "people" to do the ferrying. And they simply have one of their companies sponsor their kids' teams and buy the stuff with tax-deductible corporate money.

By the way. The very rich don't have kids. They have children.

In her apology, Theresa Heinz kerry said that she had forgotten that Mrs. Bush had been a teacher and a librarian early in her career.

In Theresa Heinz kerry 's world, either you run the foundation (or the women's magazine, or the museum board) - read: Have a job - or you sit at the spa with the other rich women.

There is no such thing, in Theresa Heinz kerry 's world as women worrying about paying the monthly bills, while planning the travel schedule for Thanksgiving, while looking for specials on the toys the kids will want for Christmas, after running out to the Safeway to pick up food for dinner which must be prepared in such a way that something is ready for each member of the family when they have the two-minutes-thirty-seven seconds to actually eat before needing to run out to the mall/friend's house/play rehearsal/Boy or Girl scout, lodge or church meeting all of which happens before checking everyone's homework.

The very rich go over the weekly menus with "cook," assign their "personal assistant" to deal with the toys, have drivers to get the various members of the family to their appointments and assume it will all be taken care of.

In real life, going out to dinner is not much less complex than planning D-Day. Baby sitters have to be arranged for, reservations have to be made, credit card balances have to be checked.

The very rich get the best table at the best restaurants and sign for the bill which will be paid by a retainer who will also have made certain the nanny will stay the night and get the children put to bed.

To paraphrase F. Scott Fitzgerald, Theresa Heinz kerry 's world is different from yours and mine.

To paraphrase Ernest Hemingway, our world is, in its own way, much, much richer.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: A link to the USA Today interview, a Mullfoto proving that good things ARE happening in Iraq, a reprise of a very amusing travelogue about paying my Virginia car tax, and a Catchy Caption of the Day.

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