Mullings: An American Cyber-column By Rich Galen

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Don't Let the SARS Get in your Eyes

Thursday April 24, 2003

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From Toronto, Canada

Mullings Lite alert! There is nothing from this point forward which warrants your time or attention. Just hit the delete button and go right on to your next e-mail.

I have been in Toronto, Canada where, in addition to the Maple Leafs getting trounced by the Philadelphia Flyers in game seven of the Stanley Cup series; and in addition to the Canadian Dollar being worth about 69 US cents; and in addition to a technological breakdown which caused this edition of Mullings to be one day late; they have this SARS thing going on .

SARS stands for Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome.

SARS is such a big deal here that there are people walking around with masks on. There are signs everywhere; there are fliers (not the Philadelphia kind but, for some reason, a pink color) warning that people who have symptoms; or have been around people with symptoms; or have visited someone in a hospital in which people with SARS have been treated should - more or less - quarantine themselves.

This flyer is in English, French (of course), Chinese and what I believe is Japanese.

Here's an interesting thing: In English a line reads, "Health Canada further requests ..." On the French side it reads, "Sant� Canada vouse demande..."

See? THAT's the problem! In French demand and request are the same thing. Oh. Maybe we already knew that.

AFTER I had arrived in Toronto, The World Health Organization (WHO) issued the following statement:

As a result of ongoing assessments as to the nature of outbreaks of severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) in Beijing and Shanxi Province, China, and in Toronto, Canada, WHO is now recommending, as a measure of precaution, that persons planning to travel to these destinations consider postponing all but essential travel.

Ok. I went to Toronto. But I SWEAR I'm not going to Beijing or Shanxi Province. I won't even order the Peking Duck at the Chinese restaurant for the next three weeks.

Regular Mullsters will remember that I laugh in the face of danger when it comes to these things. Last Christmas didn't the entire Mullings Family brave the horrors of the Norwalk Virus by traveling on a big, BIG Princess boat with a bunch of New Yorkers?

Speaking of which, there was an article in the Toronto paper which detailed the travails of a couple who had booked a cruise but were dis-invited by the cruise line when the line found out where they were from.

Years ago, during a subway ride from McLean, Virginia to the Smithsonian Mall, I taught The Lad to put his arms akimbo, throw back his head, and laugh a Manly Laugh - like Errol Flynn in pirate movie.

I also taught him, on a different subway ride, to cross his eyes. This earned me a stern talking to from a woman who thought that was the worst possible thing. I countered by telling The Lad to do his Manly Laugh.

She left us alone for the rest of the ride.

Where was I? Oh yes. SARS. So The Lad, who now works for the Department of Homeland Security in the group which used to be known as the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), was all over me Tuesday for going to Toronto, but I laughed it off. Not a Manly Laugh, more like a nervous chuckle.

Then, at the airport in Washington, I ran into Joe Allbaugh who used to run FEMA. He asked me where I was going. I told him. He asked me if I was nuts.

I didn't laugh at all.

Earlier this month, President Bush added SARS to the list of diseases for which one could be quarantined.

You know? This has some aspects to it I like. Sorry. Can't possibly. Quarantined. SARS, you know.

Humanitarian Crisis Watch: According to Shirley & Banister Public Affairs the phrase "humanitarian crisis" has occurred in 846 articles about Iraq since April 9 when Saddam's statue came down.

On the Secret Decoder Ring page today: Letters from Monday's Mullings, the WHO warning (in case you were scheduling a power lunch in Shanxi Province); a timeline on the who SARS thing; and a Mullfoto of a SARS incubation factory.

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